Update on difficult child

[toughlovin]

Hi all,

Like PG for some reason my account was deactivated but it took me a couple of days to figure out I could just reregister....so here I am.

Sunday was an afternoon of complete worry....it was crazy. First was the piece I already told you about him getting to the general area he needed to be where he asked a cop for help. But then was the phone call from him where he was falling apart. He lost his ID again!! So wasnt sure he would get into the program without it. He was sick, coughing up some blood and his ear hurt and he has the flu. He actually did go to the ER and they gave him a prescription for an antibiotic which of course he could not fill..... so I was worried about his health, and thought gee he is going to die of the flue on the street the night before he is to check into treatment. I did not sleep too well that night!!! But my friend out there helped the process so he was able to check himself in yesterday even without the id.

So I talked to him yesterday and today and he actually sounds pretty good. He sounds sick but is glad to be warm, dry and inside and getting meals to eat. At least for now it sounds like he really doesnt want to be homeless again

I feel so relieved!!! I slept well last night and look forward to sleeping tonight. It feels good to feel some hope again. I have been through this enough to know full well this may be temporary but I am goingg to enjoy it whlle I can.

TL

 

[Nancy]

Yesterday morning Kathy and I could not get into this forum. For some reason SA was the only forum affected and both your and PG's registrations were also. I almost thought one of our difficult children sabotaged our forum. Anyway I'm glad you are back and I was wonderign what was happening.

I'm so glad he is safely registered and warm and hopefully getting better and that you are able to get some mouch needed restful sleep. It does feel good to be hopeful again. I remember those times, we all need them so desperately.

Nancy

 

[InsaneCdn]

There was also a database issue with this forum yesterday... it might all be related.

 

[Calamity Jane]

TL,
Hi. Wow. I hope he is recovering in both body and spirit, and also hope you are getting some rest and peace and quiet. Fingers crossed that he works the program. You must have angels in every state! Hugs.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I am SO glad to read this!! May he be so comfortable now that he doesn't want to leave. Yes, enjoy every moment. We all know far too well that they may not last. I loved the good feelings of hope....I am trying to have them again.

 

[pasajes4]

Fantastic!!!! Maybe being sick and homeless will help him to rethink his life. Enjoy the moments. You deserve them.

 

[lovemysons]

Oh my TL,
I am SO relieved to hear your son is getting the care and once again the help that he needs.
I am sure you are resting easier now.
ME TOO for you and difficult child!

Hugs and hope,
LMS

 

[toughlovin]

Thanks for all your thoughts... gosh I slept well last night. The best I have slept in months. And it made me realize today how hard it has really been these last few months, and although I have held it together and found ways to go on with my life it is this underlying stress and trauma that you learn to live with. And here I thought my bouts of insomnia were due to menopause!!! LOL.

But gosh it makes me dread the thought of being back in that spot again and you all know as well as I do that that is of course a real possibility!!! I know I just have to enjoy this time of peace that I have as much as possible.

I talked to him on the phone the last two days and he does sound good. Told me a couple stories of how he got by being homeless, ate a lot of apples and granola bars that people would give him. Sounded really pretty miserable. He talks somewhat disparagingly of the homeless and I asked how he differentiated himself... and he said I shaved whenever I could and took showers whenever I could!! So II am really hoping this is a new start and that he will really get help. Now he knows without a doubt that we will let him be homeless.....

but gosh I hope we dont ever have to do that again! In hindsight it really is awful.

TL

 

[FlowerGarden]

Very glad to hear he is getting help. Hopefully, the experience of being homeless and sick will make him want to make this work. Also glad you are able to sleep better now.

 

[rejectedmom]

Hoping this was his bottom and it is all up from here. -RM

 

[Kathy813]

What great news! I hope everything goes up from here.

~Kathy

 

[toughlovin]

Thank you for all your good thoughts. So far so good. I have had several good phone conversations with difficult child. Sounds like he is slowly getting healthier. His attitude has been pretty good and he is been warm to me which is nice. The insurance wont cover the 30 day residential program but my friend who is helping us is negotiating a good deal for us. Now that my difficult child got himself to treatment I just can't let him go back to the street..... but we are not paying for a high priced place either. This is pretty basic but he will continue to get help and then hopefully go to sober living. He asked me about coming back to our state... he really wants to come home (not to our house but our area). I told him he needs to work things out with probation and pay them the money he owes and do the community service etc. He also asked if he worked and saved money for 6 months would we help him get an apartment. I told him lets wait and see when he gets there. I am not saying no but I am not making any promises either. We want to help him get on his feet but we have been burned also, so lets see where he is at. He accepted that but is clearly thinking about his future which is good. So I am feeling pretty good and feeling hopeful....but just know we have to wait and see. I talked to the place today and they will offer him the residential program. I told them to make sure he wants to go.... and if he leaves he needs to understand he will be homeless again!!!

TL

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Thank you for all your good thoughts. So far so good. I have had several good phone conversations with difficult child. Sounds like he is slowly getting healthier. His attitude has been pretty good and he is been warm to me which is nice. The insurance wont cover the 30 day residential program but my friend who is helping us is negotiating a good deal for us. Now that my difficult child got himself to treatment I just can't let him go back to the street..... but we are not paying for a high priced place either. This is pretty basic but he will continue to get help and then hopefully go to sober living. He asked me about coming back to our state... he really wants to come home (not to our house but our area). I told him he needs to work things out with probation and pay them the money he owes and do the community service etc. He also asked if he worked and saved money for 6 months would we help him get an apartment. I told him lets wait and see when he gets there. I am not saying no but I am not making any promises either. We want to help him get on his feet but we have been burned also, so lets see where he is at. He accepted that but is clearly thinking about his future which is good. So I am feeling pretty good and feeling hopeful....but just know we have to wait and see. I talked to the place today and they will offer him the residential program. I told them to make sure he wants to go.... and if he leaves he needs to understand he will be homeless again!!!

TL

I think that is a fabulous update and sounds very, very hopeful. Gosh the journey these kids need to take to get there, though.. whew!

 

[exhausted]

TL,
So glad to hear he is safe. I dont know how you have weathered this anxiety. I am selfish and would want him closer to home because, watching the hardship
Over the distance would put me over the edge! Enjoy some well deserved peace.

 

[toughlovin]

I do wish he was closer....although I don't think there are as many treatment options here that I have found. The good thing is now he is near where I grew up so I have people there and my friend who is a recovering addict and now works as an interventionist has been a huge huge help and is helping set things up for him. So in a way having him where he is comforting to me. And it's a place I like to go visit.

TL

 

[toughlovin]

OK so he has been transferred to the 30 day residential program. The insurance wont cover it but it is less expensive that a lot of other places. difficult child has agreed to be there 30 days and then my friend will get him into a sober house, either the one he runs or one he knows. So all of that feels good. I just could not turn my back and not pay for the treatment given that the insurance wont cover it. He got himself there and wants help which is at least a step in the right direction. I am so darned relieved.... it is hard to look back and realize the worry we have been living with.

TL

 

[Calamity Jane]

Sounds like a good plan; you're so fortunate to have a friend in the business. I'm glad you're glad! Breathe and relax a bit.

 

[exhausted]

I am so glad this has worked out. I hope he stays on the road to healing. Will they
Help him with a plan to treat his mental health issues as well? I remember how conserned you
Were about this.

 

[toughlovin]

Hopefully they will also deal with his mental health issues, they do have those services there. My difficult child is more open to help with the mental health issues than the SA issues so I hope he gets help with both. I have come to the conclusion at this point, that it almost doesnt matter where he is, the real key is my difficult child. If he wants help and is willing to work at it the help is there and if he doesnt then he wont get help. He was in one of the best places there is for his issues and he walked away from it... we cant afford to do that again.... and ultimately it really is up to him and him wanting it.

TL