Update on family drama etc

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mattsmom27, Apr 27, 2007.

  1. mattsmom27

    mattsmom27 Active Member

    Thank you all who responded on my other thread earlier in the week. I haven't again heard from my brother's ex. Part of me is sad to not hear updates on my niece. I love that sweet little imp so much and I miss her already. The other part of me is overwhelmingly relieved that despite her feelings on my decisions, she is respecting my decision by not calling. I ironically have to travel to the city she is in this coming week to have my next MRI done. It will be strange to check into my hotel and not pick up the phone to call her to set up a time I can go visit. It has been a quiet week here without the phone ringing and such a HUGE weight off my shoulders to not have to hear more garbage. I did have a phone call yesterday from a "family friend", a woman we've all known since I was a child. We stay in touch. She had pretty much cut my mother and brother out of her life too, but for some reason decided to pop in at my mothers house earlier this week. She told me that before her shoes were off, both my mother and brother started saying hideous things to her about me and she just tied her shoes back up and told them both she wasn't going to listen to anymore of this type of talk/bashing by them about me, that they were out of line and told them they just confirmed her concerns that by visiting them again they would prove she was right to have stayed away. She told them she would not be back and requested my mother "lose her number". I felt sad that they have alienated another person from their lives. I also selfishly had a feeling of such intense gratitude that someone has recognized that they are the people they really are, the nasty side I know of them, and that somebody stood up for me. Her and I ended up spending a few hours together yesterday and other than telling me about the incident (no details, smart woman knew I didn't need/want to hear what they were saying) we never spoke their names :).
    Wednesday I decided to do something for me, so had the hairdresser that lives in my triplex come and do my hair. What would have cost about $160 in her salon cost me $80 for doing it here in my kitchen :). I now have beautiful corkscrew spiral curls 3/4's of the way down my back and all dead ends are gone. I rarely get my hair done and it really does something to me psychologically, I felt beautiful this morning when I looked in the mirror. I am now to day 3 without anxiety issues. Hopefully this means that I can forget that after years without anxiety, it was back in my daily life the past month or so. I really didn't miss it let me tell you!
    Thank you all again for your support and encouragement in my efforts to do what I really needed to do for myself. I'm a work in progress but I'm really proud of getting through this the way I have.

  2. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    I'm glad that she's respecting your wishes. You'll always miss the good part of your niece, and maybe can get some connection with her back after a while. It's too bad that connecting with her is also connected to a lot of bad baggage and to get rid of the really bad you have to let go of some good too. Hope you can continue to detach from the past and only look to good things in the future. {{{{HUGS}}}}
  3. Loris

    Loris New Member

    I'm glad she's repecting your wishes, just sad that it is what it is. It is awesome to get in touch with old family friends that can relate. Your hair sounds beautiful, that was always my favorite look. I'm glad you got it done, it's always nice to feel pampered for awhile.
  4. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Glad you took some time for yourself!!! It can give you a new outlook....take care of yourself.....
  5. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    It is a shame all the way around, but I'm glad you're feeling relief!!! Your hair sounds gorgeous! Truly. I have a mother like yours, she is the only person in the universe that would have a thousand bad things to say regarding me. I am liked by people and am a respectable member of the community- but my mother is a nut. I never think of her(besides now). I don't feel sad by her, because I completely accept it-my life is enhanced by her being out of it. When that friend of yours told you what they were saying about you, feel thankful, grateful, and relieved that you are away from those assholes!-Alyssa
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Wow, that is so fantastic, Melissa. Between the supportive friend and the beautiful hairdo, you're doing great. Way To Go.

  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Can't choose our families but can choose our friends. It does sound like you got a good friend there. Glad you are enjoying some peace and are taking care of yourself. -RM
  8. Luminosity

    Luminosity New Member

    Coming into this at the end. My thoughts are with you and you did the right thing. When the time is right and you are ready things will change and you can start to integrate your neice back into your life on YOUR terms. You have enough on your plate.