Update on my worries when my son comes to visit

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by raylea, Feb 18, 2015.

  1. raylea

    raylea New Member

    Hello all!
    My son traveled from Seattle to Ks to visit me and the rest of the family. My boyfriend was being a "jerk" about letting me take his pickup to travel the 3 hrs to see m son. The vehicle is in his name but both our names are on the insurance, so that gives me a little clout to drive it, right? Anyway, he kept mum as I was preparing to leave.

    The visit with my son was wonderful! Started sort of rough because the arraingment was for him to stay at his dads house. Well the first two days (before I arrived in town) were a mess because his dad has been using crystal meth and that started a fight between him and my son. My son called my mom (his grandma) in the middle of the night saying he almost feared for his life because his dad was so out of it. My parents then decided that my son wouldnt be allowed to stay with them at all because he was still "unstable". Well, his dads a tweaker and it pissed him off and he wanted out of that environment. But not how my parents saw it.

    So forward to when I arrived. First evening he came to my parents (I told them hes my son and hes coming here to see me). I couldnt believe my eyes! He had grown 5 inches, hes over 6ft tall now! And he looks like a man. He left a boy and came home a man. Wow. He looked so good. We went to walmart (of all places) just so that we could walk and talk without interruptions (my parents), got caught up on a lot of what he was dealing with at his dads.

    Next day my son, my daughter and my grandson spent the day together, ate vietnamese food and bought my son some good walking /trail shoes. Hes still homeless and walks uber miles. Shortly aftyer I had to come home.

    Hes been back in Seattle two weeks, still homeless but with a couple opotunities coming up. I talked to him yesterday and he told me that after going back to seattle after ks his whole outlookhas changed,

    Heres the analogy he gave me: two men each in their own ships. The wind has stopped blowing and they are just floating, the first guy gets pissed because no wind in the sails and starts raging around his boat, breaking things and knocking suplies overboard, just making things worse. The second guy thinks"okay, no wind now, but it will come up again soon, I'll just make myself some tea and wait and enjoy the sun and sound of the ocean until the wind blows again."
    My son said before his trip to Kansas he would have been th first guy, raging and making hings worse (and yes I remember him being thatway) but since hes returned from kansas he feels like the second guy. like, okay, things didnt happen today but I always have tommorow in the mean tm e Im going to enjoy this city and make the most of it. He feels more relaxed and people have commented that he looks like a new person. So maybe that short touch base back home helped him. I know it did me, I see that hes actually thriving even with out a permanent home right now.
    so my trip went well..and my anxieties gone..thanks for listening everyone
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  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks for the update Raylea, I thought of you and wondered what happened. It all sounds promising, I hope your son moves in a new direction. You sound relieved and in a good frame of mind, I'm happy for you. Sounds like you took care of yourself. Good for you!