Update on young difficult child in prison...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by lovemysons, Mar 23, 2012.

  1. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hi all,

    I've missed you all this past month-and-half.
    I guess I just felt like I didn't have much too offer for a bit. Now that my young difficult child has been sent to prison and his life is on hold, ya know?

    Have gotten several letters from him and this is a recent one...

    "Dear Mom and Dad,
    It's Wednesday the 7th at 5pm. I'm about to eat chow and then go back to the house. Maybe I'll watch a movie tonight in the day room though I'm really tired. So far prison is okay. The guards yell and try to humiliate you, but it's easy to lay low and not be noticed. Time seems to be going slower since I got here. I still haven't gone to Rec because they haven't called Rec in K dorm. But, I do get to go outside to walk to the chow hall which is nice, I feel alittle more normal when outside and I'm reminded that home is just around the corner. I'm about to start PAWS which is a fifteen day Anger Management class. It should be good. Anyway I just wanted to write you and tell you I love you. Please be safe your son, difficult child."

    So, young difficult child is adjusting to prison life...don't like some of the language in his letters though. Sounds sometimes like he is adjusting Too Well to prison life...sigh.
    I miss him Teribbly and think of him all the time.

    daughter in law and I still spend a great deal of time together on the phone or with each other. She will bring the grands over this afternoon for me to watch while she goes to Dr appmnt. Oh, by the way, I am the one that will get to be in the delivery room this time. The first time, when grandson was born and young difficult child was in Army, daughter in law's mother was in the room. The second time young difficult child was there and now this time it is my turn! I'm sort of excited and nervous. daughter in law will be having her 3rd C-Section.
    Baby will be here around May 20th...Her name will be Jordyn. Still unsure about the middle name.

    Anyway, looks like I have alot to catch up on around here.
    Hugs,
    LMS
     
  2. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    LMS....you certainly have stuff to offer us... with your experience and all the wisdom that comes with that. I am glad young difficult child is adjusting to prison life and is at least ok. I can understand the worry of him becoming too well adjusted to prison but it sounds like at least foro now he is safe.... and i hope those anger management classes, taken while sober, will help him.

    TL
     
  3. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    I am glad that you get to be in the delivery room this time.
    I hope this is the last time your son finds himself in this place. I'll keep my fingers crossed that this is the catalyst that works. (((HUGS)))
    Love,
    Lia
     
  4. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Blessings on the new baby and I think your son's letter sounds good. Clear and a little hopeful - like he was trying to reassure you he was OK. SIng fingers for you ...

    and please stay around; I've missed you!
     
  5. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    Very sad to me 'cause my son also was close to going to prison. Mine has managed to stay out of jail trouble but he still has a long way to go in the relationship area.

    Congrats on the new baby!!
     
  6. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    LMS, I was wondering what was happening in your life. I am so glad you spend time with your grandkids and get to see little Jordyn born. What a blessing. I hope that your son will turn his life around after this stint and you will have peace. You have much to offer us!
     
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Hey, LMS. Just wanted to say a quick hi. I'm under the weather and quitting cigarettes the past couple of weeks so I am no fun at all, lol. My supportive thoughts are always with your family. Hugs DDd
     
  8. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    LMS: Yes, you definitely have a lot of experience to offer us on this board. Please continue to post - your advice is appreciated.

    My difficult child is in jail now, awaiting a trial or a plea deal (hopefully). I am scared that my difficult child may be sent to prison, and it helped me to read the letter from your son. I'm sure that you are worried about your difficult child, but I hope that this experience will help him to turn his life around when he is released.

    Sending my best wishes to you. HUGS...
     
  9. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Aww,
    Yall are so sweet! Thank you for welcoming me back. Been MIA the past few days cause I went to the casino twice since Friday! I have to get away from home at times and just have time to myself.

    Never did see my sweet daughter in law this last weekend. She ended up having her mom take care of the little ones on Friday for her Dr appment. Then she was supposed to come by and print a letter (for a parole hearing she says young difficult child has on April 18th). She didn't make it cause her dad had a stroke this weekend and she went to the hospital. Then one of her mom's dogs had to be put to sleep yesterday morning so she's had a rough time of it past few days.
    She did make it to a Carnival on Sat evening. My easy child daughter (in town from college) went to meet up with her and the grands to ride the rides with grandson that daughter in law cannont because of pregnancy. They all had a good time.

    DDD,
    I am sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well. That, on top of quitting smoking...sounds miserable! Love and comforting hugs to you.

    Pinevalley,
    I am glad my son's letter was a bit reasurring to you. I have thought to myself that if my son can survive prison life for a yr or more that surely he is MUCH more capable of handling things than I have given him credit for in the past. I do not have to coddle and "save" him all the time if he is able to handle this situation, ya know.

    Oh, did find out the C-section due date...baby Jordyn due date...It is May 15th!
    My "other daughter in law" the one doesn't "approve" of me, will be delivering she and oldest difficult child's new baby girl around the 22nd of May.
    Found out that oldest difficult child's wife recently pointed out my mental illness (Bipolar Disorder) as just one more reason not to have their children exposed to me or our side of the family...I swear those two live a life of fear! Sad to me that i don't get to be a part of oldest difficult child's daughter lives....my other grandchildren, but is what it is. Maybe someday they will change their thinking.

    Thanks again for welcoming me back! yall are the Bestest!!!
    Hugs,
    LMS
     
  10. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LMS, I'm with you, not sure I like the fact that he is adjusting well to prison life. Of course the alternative is not good either. What I would like to hear more is that every day he is in there he is more determined to live his life differently.

    Hugs to you and your grandbabies,
    Nancy
     
  11. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    LMS, Your son's letters are alot like my son's leters from prison. I hope this is the last time both of our difficult children will be there.

    Best wishes for a healthy and happy new grand daughter to love. _RM
     
  12. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Nancy,
    Young difficult child's letters to daughter in law do suggest that he plans on getting out of prison a new and improved man. Time will tell.
    I worry about him...have for a Loooong time, being the middle child.
    What I don't speak of often is that husband's younger brother (also the middle child) has been incarcerated for most of his adult life. He is now facing 45 yrs to life from what I understand...charged with holding up a family in their home while they were being robbed. His life is gone. It is so very sad. People in the family often say he was "institutionalized" from a young age. He had been placed in a hospital for up to 15 mths when he was a teenager for drug use. Then came jail then prison. He has had struggles with Meth use from what I understand...which was my oldest difficult child's drug of choice back when.

    Now, people in the family, say that young difficult child does well with a heavily structured environment. And my mother posed the question to me yesterday..."What can he do on the outside while needing so much structure?" I don't know the answer. I told her what I knew for myself...that G-d, my commitment to family, etc...provided the structure that I once needed in my own life. I was held accountable by "others", ya know. I don't know if the structure can come to young difficult child through internal measures...belief system or commitment to family. I worry about suicide if he fails in the work environment once again.
    But for now...his letters do sound mostly stable. One letter to daughter in law suggested some paranoia about her friend activity etc. but other than that he has sounded good.

    Rejectedmom, How long does your son have left in prison? What does he plan on doing when he gets out? Does he speak of living life differently? I know it is possible...my oldest difficult child has done it. I too hope both of our son's are really looking at their situation, how they got here, and where they want to go...and NEVER end up behind prison walls again! It is just so horrible and sad.

    Thank you all for the new grandbaby girl wishes!
    LMS
     
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