Hi Gwen - and welcome to the board. I'm copying your post from another thread so that the members get a chance to give you a proper welcome!
We have the same problem with my stepson. When I moved in with my fiance 4 years ago, he was a hardheaded little boy, but he was not doing anything like what he is doing now. Is biggest problem lately has been stealing. I have to check his room on almost a daily basis. Today I found his father's tobacco, two of his father's cigarettes, and his father's pocket knife. He has actually stolen my makeup and my 5 year olds earrings. I don't understand this stealing problem at all. Our situations are similar except that his father backs me up on any decisions that I make as far as discipline. He actually will add to the punishment if he feels it is not harsh enough. We are going to get locks for all of our other children's doors and for ours. Another difference is that, even when the objects are found hidden under his mattress, he denies taking them. But he also will not tell us why. He either stares at us or says he doesn't know why. I do understand your frustration with the stealing. It is horrible when you feel like you have to keep your things locked up or hidden in your own home. As far as being able to give advice or punishment ideas, I can't. We are completely lost on what to do with him. He sees a psychologist once a week and will begin seeing a psychiatrist soon. His pediatrician has put him on medication for ADHD and ODD, we have sent him to a behavioral health center for three weeks, we have tried taking things away, we have even threatened to take him to a juvenile detention center for a weekend, but nothing works. He is currently in alternative school due to his inability to control his anger, but not even that seems to be phasing him.
We have the same problem with my stepson. When I moved in with my fiance 4 years ago, he was a hardheaded little boy, but he was not doing anything like what he is doing now. Is biggest problem lately has been stealing. I have to check his room on almost a daily basis. Today I found his father's tobacco, two of his father's cigarettes, and his father's pocket knife. He has actually stolen my makeup and my 5 year olds earrings. I don't understand this stealing problem at all. Our situations are similar except that his father backs me up on any decisions that I make as far as discipline. He actually will add to the punishment if he feels it is not harsh enough. We are going to get locks for all of our other children's doors and for ours. Another difference is that, even when the objects are found hidden under his mattress, he denies taking them. But he also will not tell us why. He either stares at us or says he doesn't know why. I do understand your frustration with the stealing. It is horrible when you feel like you have to keep your things locked up or hidden in your own home. As far as being able to give advice or punishment ideas, I can't. We are completely lost on what to do with him. He sees a psychologist once a week and will begin seeing a psychiatrist soon. His pediatrician has put him on medication for ADHD and ODD, we have sent him to a behavioral health center for three weeks, we have tried taking things away, we have even threatened to take him to a juvenile detention center for a weekend, but nothing works. He is currently in alternative school due to his inability to control his anger, but not even that seems to be phasing him.