What a farce!!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mrscatinthehat, Feb 7, 2008.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I loathe and despise the court system. I am also not fond of the folks making decisions for my son. Can you guess we had gfg2s hearing today? Can you also guess that the folks around here just don't get that we don't like what is going on?

    They are sending him to the place we didn't want. We figured that would happen anyway but held out that one smidgen of hope that it would be different. T's JCO gave us a sheet about the program he is going to. I use the term program loosely. They have different stages in the program and they are allowed to repeat certain ones 3 times and if they don't pass then they are dropped from the program. I reread that part in the notes I was given to be sure I read it right.

    T will probably be put on the sex offender registry. With what he did it will also probably be a lifetime thing. I truthfully don't have a lot of trouble with this. What concerns me is that if he doesn't get treatment and cooperate he will just not register when he leaves juvie. Then he will have more crimes as an adult. But I am aware then it will be his problem. This is all of course if we can't get him into an adult program when he turns 18. As we know that at this point we will have to file for guardianship so that he will get treatment.

    Speaking of guardianship, we still don't get that back now. They are removing the CINA (child in need of assistance). However they decided they wanted to do that during the dispossition hearing today. Of course our attorney wasn't there. Because in this state we don't necessarily get represented at juvinile delinquent stuff like we did with CINA. So the county attorney said that she would like to just take care of this today even though our attorney wasn't there with the stipulation that he could contest it within 15 days. Of course they submitted documents to the court as exhibits on that and some of which we don't have copies of and some we know there are mistakes on. So of course on exiting the court house I had my cell out to contact our attorney. He of course wasn't in. So I am waiting to hear back from him.

    Of course during the time that the county attorney is saying all this the judge is saying that he doesn't like that because our representation isn't there. (I actually had a moment of hope that things might make a change.) Then of course the county attorney says that she understands we have no problem with it. Then T's attorney says he understands we have no problem with it. I am sitting there shaking my head trying to figure out where they came up with that as neither one had talked to us about it. OF course the judge didn't ask us. And of course you can't just blurt in court. You all have no idea the restraint it took to not scream in the court room. Because on top of this T's Guardian Ad Litem wasn't there either because this was just supposed to be the disposition hearing.

    So of course the judge decides ok fine we will do it this way blam were done before you can blink and he is gone. The DHS worker leaves. The JCO and T's attorney are chatting while we walk up to them I am just shaking. I asked if they just closed the CINA. I was informed yes. I said I was confused about that since he was going to wait until our attorney could be present. Then T's attorney goes on this speil about it not being a big deal etc. So that is when the JCO hands us the paper about the program that T will be in. T's attorney apologized for speaking for us at this point but kept saying he didn't see where the problem was.

    I looked at him and said well the biggest problem is that when we lose the CINA we can't be represented in court. The lovely man that he is says sure you can you just have to pay for it. I said like we can afford that.

    We were told that we will be informed of when to go to where he will be. Not asked but informed. Well this should prove interesting as we have two other kids and one we have appointments for and the other is just getting ready to start Track and then it will be Softball and I won't short her on my being there either.

    Then somehow he starts in about where T is going and if we can get there. He made the assumption that because T is in trouble etc and that paying out of pocket for an attorney is a bit much for us that we wouldn't have reliable transportation. I looked at him and said 3 1/2 hours to T is not going to be a big deal as we do 3 hours to difficult child 1 all the time. I was ****** off to say the least. He kept going on and on in a very concdescending manner and I just shut myself down.

    I did that because through all of this the sherrif's deputy was sitting there with T (in his shackles) watching the whole episode. I figured I needed to stop before it was me in the shackles.

    So to sum up if you made it through. We weren't listened to. T will probably not get the help he needs. We were disreguarded. T will probably not get the help he needs. We were belittled. And finally T will probably not get the help he needs. So in summary we had a typical day.

    I have been mumbling under my breath since we got out of the court house. husband asked me a bit ago if I was going to keep doing that all day. I said probably as it was either that or I yell. Take your pick. He just walked away and started doing the dishes.

    So now I have to shine up my armor if nothing else to protect myself from the **** flying at me.

  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Talk to your attorney about appealing the CINA, if nothing else. Hang in there- you know each step of this is a fight to get a smidgeon (sp) of help.

    Sorry it has to be this way- (((HUGS)))
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I don't know how to fix it, but the system is SO broken. I am so sorry for you.
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    I just don't know what to say - the system is overburdened & broken. The system doesn't know what to do with parents who care & are going to advocate for their children.

    Sending calming thoughts & prayers your way this evening. Tomorrow is soon enough to get hold of your attorney - nothing can be changed tonight.

  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    Oh hon HUGE hugs - because we're there with you. Listen - if your son goes into placement - he is considered indigent. Call the local public defenders office and ask for the indigent intake. Let them know where he is being moved and that he needs legal representation.

    You can't keep affording to peel out money for this. And as far as what happened in court today - can they really do things WITHOUT your son having representation? I think that's illegal? We went through the same thing with difficult child in court the PD didn't show up he sent his secretary as a mouth piece. Thanks for nothing - I anonymously sent him a book - Why lawyers are like a ...joke book.

    Now - let's put our heads together and not give up this ship. I am so serious. I want you to get your information together - and we shall write the representatives, congressmen, delegates, ombudsman and governor, mayor of your town - everyone you can think of and YELL FROM THE ROOF TOPS - this program is NOT helping - NOT going to and that the "System" is setting your son up to fail - FAIL not thrive - FAIL and the longer they leave him IN a system designed to fail - they can't expect him to live life as a productive adult - and MAYBE it's someones kids THEY know personally that will be affected by his actions if he does NOT get the help he needs now.

    I'm STANDING with you warrior mom -


    I'll do anything to help

  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Could it possibly be that the act of not speaking to you, and then speaking for you is just plain wrong? I'd report him to the state bar association. If you want help prepping it, send me a PM and I will walk you through. He could lose his license.

    At least he's smart enough to go do the dishes instead of turning on the tube or the video game. Believe me I'd be a screaming maniac if I were in your position. You did well for yourselves and for difficult child in court, but I worry that you need to find a way to blow off some of that steam before you just plain blow. I would be beside myself in your position.

    {{{{{{{{{{{{Big Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending supportive hugs your way.
  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I so wish I knew what to say or do to help you. I think Timer Lady said it well..........
    I do know I am sending you strength, hugs, and peace.
    I hope someway/somehow difficult child gets the help he needs. And that you receive the grace needed to endure this.
  9. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Sending you hugs and support. The entire court system needs to be overhauled.
  10. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest