DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I think that is where therapy and getting a grip on the disorder come into play. A person who doesnt believe or acknowledge that they have or are Borderline (BPD) isnt going to think that they are doing all these things. They are going to be living their lives in these (I dont know how to phrase this) "active borderline personalities" maybe is a good way to put it.
I never realized that I was doing all that I did because I was bipolar or that I had Borderline (BPD). I just thought I had some stress or that my life was chaotic or that we were poor or any other of numerous reasons. I thought bipolar was people who talked to themselves or drooled in corners or jumped off buildings thinking they could fly. See how far Ive come!
When I found out about the Borderline (BPD), I almost stroked out. I cried for days because I thought that meant I was like Jeffrey Dahmer. Or Ted Bundy.
Then I learned. I learned about the bipolar first. I got medicated first and that helped some. Lots of folks here who have known me from when I first joined know about my medication trials. Some of them werent real pleasant. I had many ups and downs. I had many times I wanted to give up. There has been a close few on here that have literally held my hand cyberally while I cried my eyes out begging me not to give up for just one more day. Then I decided..or was pushed into therapy and that really helped me even though I resisted it mightily at first. I have a bit of ODD about me. They say that Borderline (BPD) people are hard on therapists and that Borderline (BPD) people are extremely resistant to therapy because they dont want to change and they will just quit going so I decided that I wouldnt be one of those. I would go to therapy to prove that a Borderline (BPD) "could" keep going to therapy...lol. Showed them didnt I? Well I did until my funding ran out. Sigh.
I happen to be one of the most treatment compliant mentally ill people on the planet which is not always the case.
I never realized that I was doing all that I did because I was bipolar or that I had Borderline (BPD). I just thought I had some stress or that my life was chaotic or that we were poor or any other of numerous reasons. I thought bipolar was people who talked to themselves or drooled in corners or jumped off buildings thinking they could fly. See how far Ive come!
When I found out about the Borderline (BPD), I almost stroked out. I cried for days because I thought that meant I was like Jeffrey Dahmer. Or Ted Bundy.
Then I learned. I learned about the bipolar first. I got medicated first and that helped some. Lots of folks here who have known me from when I first joined know about my medication trials. Some of them werent real pleasant. I had many ups and downs. I had many times I wanted to give up. There has been a close few on here that have literally held my hand cyberally while I cried my eyes out begging me not to give up for just one more day. Then I decided..or was pushed into therapy and that really helped me even though I resisted it mightily at first. I have a bit of ODD about me. They say that Borderline (BPD) people are hard on therapists and that Borderline (BPD) people are extremely resistant to therapy because they dont want to change and they will just quit going so I decided that I wouldnt be one of those. I would go to therapy to prove that a Borderline (BPD) "could" keep going to therapy...lol. Showed them didnt I? Well I did until my funding ran out. Sigh.
I happen to be one of the most treatment compliant mentally ill people on the planet which is not always the case.