What does depression feel like?

[ScentofCedar]

Pamela, there are some books that might help, too.

This first one has been suggested to me by Kathy 813. I have read all the blurbls on it, watched for it at bookstores, and requested it at libraries in two states ~ but so far? Cannot find it! It comes so highly recommended though, that I am going to pass that one on to you, too.

One day, I will find it.

The book is: Don't Let Your Kids Kill You by Charles Rubin.

The other two books I am going to suggest I HAVE read, and have found them very helpful.

The first is: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. This book is about relationship between male/female partners, but it describes the dynamic of the verbally abusive relationship and addresses recovery from the damaged self concept continual verbal abuse leaves us with ~ whoever the abuser is.

The second book is The Power of Now by Eckhardt Tolle.

Another good one is: Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnack

I think it is important too for us to acknowledge that what has happened to our dreams and our children is tragic. The sense of loss needs to be taken seriously, not swept under the rug like it doesn't matter.

I think we can be strong in spite of our situations, but that if we pretend to be strong, if we ignore the pain these kinds of situations with our children brings us, we will grow a brittle facade of a self that functions very well on the outside world but will crack wide open one day.

We have to grieve our losses.

Barbara

 

[wakeupcall]

Barbara, you're RIGHT!!!! "Functions very well on the outside world but will crack wide open one day." That's exactly how I feel!

Thanks so much for the suggested reading. I'll search our library online right now for any/all of them. And thanks for understanding.

 

[TerryJ2]

Pamela, you've gotten some very good advice here, and it sounds like you're taking control by making appts, etc.
I love that husband overheard difficult child badmouth you. :smile:
Since you're waking up all night, I'd add in a scrip for Ambien. Lack of sleep can make you psychotic and depressed. It's hard to say which came first, the chicken or the egg, but I don't think it matters at this point.
You definitely need sleep.
Take care.

 

[wakeupcall]

Terry, at the time I was prescribed Wellbutrin my doctor also gave me a script for Elavil. It has been a godsend, I tell ya. She told me that waking up a million times a night was a sign of stress and depression (duh, ya think?). I used it every night for quite a while as she told me that I also had to redirect my body from the "habit" of waking up all the time. It worked really well, so since that time, I've not been taking it every night, but rationing myself. The script is now almost gone, so maybe she'll give me another. There's no doubt that I've been sleep-deprived since the death of my other son (12 years ago). THAT alone doesn't make for a very happy camper.

Another good note.......difficult child has to have bloodwork taken tomorrow to see the impact of starting Lithium. husband has to have bloodwork also, but at a different lab. SO, I just told husband HE can take the little darling to have his blood drawn at the same time. Little Darling is a real jewel when it comes to giving blood......oh man, did I say that? Maybe he'll see what I go through with that also, OR difficult child will be a perfect child.....we'll see.