OK, so my difficult child is off in her new world, hopefully pulling it all together. I think she is. Granddaughter is doing very, very well, just had her 16th birthday and couldn't be a happier girl. Sister, whom I raised, who isn't talking to me now, but is doing well in her life nonetheless. Mom, whom I've felt responsible for my entire life is presently living with my one 'normal' brother, after staying with me for two years after her husband died. One by one, over many, many years, all of those I've taken care of and pushed out of the nest or rescued, or enabled, or supported or helped or just plain held up while they were down and out, are all GONE now. I knew this was coming, and really, I thought I would be doing my happy dance all over town! Instead, I find myself tired, irritable, feeling empty and odd. Talked in therapy group about it last night, just felt like crying. What's up with that?
I don't know, I also have this big urge to move all the furniture around the house, change this little room that Mom slept in, into a room for me. Maybe claiming some space for myself. Feels like a real big transition, not only from going through all of the letting go of my difficult child, but just from all the years of care-giving. Just wading through it, slogging might be a better word, ......talking to my girlfriends, talking to SO, who, gratefully, is always a big support. I believe it's all ultimately positive and healthy, just feeling a tad strange and don't have much extra energy. Happy it's Friday so I can just rest and take it easy for the weekend. Feels empty inside.
I don't know, I also have this big urge to move all the furniture around the house, change this little room that Mom slept in, into a room for me. Maybe claiming some space for myself. Feels like a real big transition, not only from going through all of the letting go of my difficult child, but just from all the years of care-giving. Just wading through it, slogging might be a better word, ......talking to my girlfriends, talking to SO, who, gratefully, is always a big support. I believe it's all ultimately positive and healthy, just feeling a tad strange and don't have much extra energy. Happy it's Friday so I can just rest and take it easy for the weekend. Feels empty inside.