Hello everyone. I am back after a week, appreciative for your support and guidance. As you know, my adult, 39 year old daughter is living in her car with her cats. You've all given wonderful advice, I've taken it all and read the books you recommended. Now, the next leg of this journey has arrived, and although I knew it was coming, I am weak in the knees now that it's here. Last night a sheriff came to our door announcing the police were looking for my daughter who is charged with burglary. This is not a usual incidence and even the police said she has no record, but is hanging out with unsavory people. Bad choices once again. This morning I got a call at 6 AM from my daughter stating she was in jail and needed me to post bail. $4,000 on a $40,000 bail. She asked I call her grandmother, her father, various friends to get the bail money and/or help for her cats. I did that and when she called back I said, I am willing to come to the jail, get your keys, find your car, bring the car and cats back to my place and find a place for the cats. Right now one is in the bathroom the other 3 are in the car. They are safe. My fiancee has terrible asthma and I have a form of asthma so the cats cannot come near us. I plan on waiting until the arraignment to see what I will now do with the cats since she may be out in a day or so, according to the sheriff I spoke to. I set a boundary about the bail, her Dad and I agreed not to post bail. I did not want the cats to suffer for her bad choices nor her car to get ripped off since everything she owns is in there. Perhaps that is still enabling, I don't know, but that's what I did. I looked inside myself and decided that's what I'm willing to do, it feels right. She is in jail and may stay there without any money or anyone who will post bail. I have no idea how the system works having no previous experience with anything like this. This is very difficult. I don't think my daughter is capable of being a functional adult now. At least in the County jail, she is fed and housed, in my opinion better then living on the streets. It's all pretty monstrous, but I am hoping someone notices how disturbed she is and insists on an evaluation or perhaps better, admits her into a hospital for an evaluation and observation. I have no idea how all of this works out, if anyone knows anything, I would appreciate any input. She is being arraigned tomorrow or Wednesday since today is holiday. I feel relieved, very sad, compassion for her and yet she did this to herself and I feel she needs to suffer the consequences of jail and whatever happens next. I'm willing to store her car and take the animals to a local shelter in a few days but that is the limit of my willingness. She has been stuck in anger since her husband committed suicide 12 years ago. She has lost a lot, she has had much reason to be filled with sorrow and loss, and I have done everything to help her, but now I feel I've done enough and it's up to her. I am in a very good codependency therapy group. I'm in CoDa, I have a therapist, I am fortunate to have good friends and a loving fiancee who is always willing to be there to help. I am raising my daughter's daughter who is 15, she is a delight, and we are glad we can provide a home for her. Now I have drawn a line in the sand, for the second time in 3 weeks, the first was when I insisted she leave my home after creating another drama, I threw her out. I said don't contact me until you're willing to change. It feels strange and different, I am very sad, but I am also resolved to carry this out. I know all of you out there have similar experiences with challenging kids, I know I'm writing to the perfect group. It helps to write this down and it helps to hear your words of encouragement, support, advice and inspiration. I would appreciate hearing anything you think would be helpful. I guess part of my fear is I don't really know what will happen next, as I said, this run in with the police is a new thing, she's usually made all her bad choices without involving the law. She says, and the sheriff intimated, that she may be simply hanging out with the wrong people who have now stuck her with holding the bag. In any case, she is the one charged with burglary and possession of stolen goods, and she is the one who will face the consequences. She does not have a record of any kind, it's clean. I have a lot of support around me so I'm doing as well as could be expected. My granddaughter knows whats going on and she is of the opinion that perhaps this may be a wake-up call for my daughter. But, who knows, maybe not, she's a tough nut to crack. I believe she is using anger to cover up the wealth of sorrow that lives inside of her along with some diagnose able mental illnesses that seem apparent to me. She's a lost child. It's heartbreaking to me. And, I think in order to 'possibly' save her, and me, and my granddaughter, I have to let go. Whew. Thanks for listening to this. God Bless.