difficult child is getting out of rehab tomorrow. She just called and asked if we were coming tomorrow to get her. I explained that we were going to drive there today and leave her car and give the keys to the staff like the counselor said we could.
She got very upset and said that she was looking forward to one of us coming and going out to eat and "talk." I told her that we couldn't miss school (husband is student teaching . . . long story). She said "so school is more important than me." Remember . . . this is the same girl that told us she was "not ready to see us" just last Tuesday.
I think she just wants to work on getting what she wants out of us. She did say that she was going to the halfway house "like you wanted" but that there would not be a bed available for two weeks. I asked her where she was going to go in the meantime and she said she didn't know. I reminded her that just a week ago she told me that she could go stay with the loser boyfriend or the friend's mom. She then said I was being passive-aggressive.
Here's my dilemma - - if she is going to go to the halfway house we said that we would help her financially but who knows if she will really go. Although she did drive herself to and check herself in to the rehab center. In the meantime, I told her that she would not have a phone and she got frantic. She said that she was supposed to call her sponsor whenever she had a craving and could not do that without a phone. That seems reasonable but are we being played?
She also said that she needs to go to 90 meetings in 90 days so she will need us to put gas in her car. Again, that seems reasonable if she really goes to the meetings. She said she could get a paper signed at the meetings showing that she is going.
We want to help her without enabling her. What do you guys do?
~Kathy
She got very upset and said that she was looking forward to one of us coming and going out to eat and "talk." I told her that we couldn't miss school (husband is student teaching . . . long story). She said "so school is more important than me." Remember . . . this is the same girl that told us she was "not ready to see us" just last Tuesday.
I think she just wants to work on getting what she wants out of us. She did say that she was going to the halfway house "like you wanted" but that there would not be a bed available for two weeks. I asked her where she was going to go in the meantime and she said she didn't know. I reminded her that just a week ago she told me that she could go stay with the loser boyfriend or the friend's mom. She then said I was being passive-aggressive.
Here's my dilemma - - if she is going to go to the halfway house we said that we would help her financially but who knows if she will really go. Although she did drive herself to and check herself in to the rehab center. In the meantime, I told her that she would not have a phone and she got frantic. She said that she was supposed to call her sponsor whenever she had a craving and could not do that without a phone. That seems reasonable but are we being played?
She also said that she needs to go to 90 meetings in 90 days so she will need us to put gas in her car. Again, that seems reasonable if she really goes to the meetings. She said she could get a paper signed at the meetings showing that she is going.
We want to help her without enabling her. What do you guys do?
~Kathy