L
Lourdes
Guest
Hi all - I have been on and off this board under several different user names since my son was 5 and now he is 17 years old. I have always gotten the best advice here. My son spends all of his waking hours when not in school, playing video games - Halo, Star Wars, World of Warcraft mostly. He has a headset and a computer as well as an Xbox 360 and he is interacting with people - the same kids for years - so he is not playing totally alone. He is alone in his room however. He also streams movies and shows sometimes. His real life friends from school faded away after 8th grade. He attends a private school for kids with ADHD and learning disabilities. He is not involved in any school activities. School personnel says he is a nice kid, not a bad kid, not a mean bone in his body - just refuses to put forth any effort towards schoolwork. He is also immature.
I have taken away his video games in the past and he goes nuts - runs away from home, skips school, gets depressed and never leaves his bed. I can say if you do x, y, and z you can get some video game time, but it doesn't work. He won't do x, y, and z. He refuses to be manipulated or to have his behavior motified by external forces.
Obviously the electronics have to go, but what is the best way to handle it? I don't feel like I can just unplug it all and put it away. Or maybe I can? I remember when he was a toddler he would not give up his bottle and my anger about it built up and built up and finally I was Soooooo angry I just grabbed all the bottles and tossed them in the trash and didn't care one iota that he screamed and cried for a week. I was just OVER IT. And it worked. Bottle gone, no harm, no foul.
But now he is almost an adult! He is taller than me. I told him if he made good grades and spent some time doing other things, no one would care about the video games, but when he has bad grades, bad homework, and no interests the video games stick out like a sore thumb.
Anyone deal with this?
His diagnosis are ADHD, reading, writing, math disabilities, stuttering that comes and goes. Never had a dad or any type of father figure. No substance abuse (they test all the kids at his school). No medication.
I have taken away his video games in the past and he goes nuts - runs away from home, skips school, gets depressed and never leaves his bed. I can say if you do x, y, and z you can get some video game time, but it doesn't work. He won't do x, y, and z. He refuses to be manipulated or to have his behavior motified by external forces.
Obviously the electronics have to go, but what is the best way to handle it? I don't feel like I can just unplug it all and put it away. Or maybe I can? I remember when he was a toddler he would not give up his bottle and my anger about it built up and built up and finally I was Soooooo angry I just grabbed all the bottles and tossed them in the trash and didn't care one iota that he screamed and cried for a week. I was just OVER IT. And it worked. Bottle gone, no harm, no foul.
But now he is almost an adult! He is taller than me. I told him if he made good grades and spent some time doing other things, no one would care about the video games, but when he has bad grades, bad homework, and no interests the video games stick out like a sore thumb.
Anyone deal with this?
His diagnosis are ADHD, reading, writing, math disabilities, stuttering that comes and goes. Never had a dad or any type of father figure. No substance abuse (they test all the kids at his school). No medication.