Well I finally lost it today. I brought her home on Tuesday and she smells. She won't bathe and I don't know which area of her smells worse but a combination of it all is grossing me out. I got her to bathe last night. Thank goodness. We had a semi-peaceful evening. This morning however, cursing, threw the dog bowl at me and hit me in the leg, hit walls and doors and anything else in her way, books were flying. She was told no she could not have an extra dollar for something at school and BAM. I told her that the answer would be no for today because of the name calling and behavior. She escalated and while I was taking her to school because she refused to catch the bus, she said while I was driving. I could choke the life right out of you with that key chain around your neck. She was very calm and very serious. She began hitting me in the car because she wanted to control the volume on the radio station. I let her control it for my safety and hers, because she wouldn't stop hitting me and I was swerving. I dropped her off at school, and got to work and called the DCFS worker and she agreed that I must not go pick her up. I had to make a hotline call and let them know, that they needed to go to her school and evaluate her immediately. She was not coming home at the end of the day and that she was expecting someone to come and pick her up. Child Family Services Worker, has onlymet her a few times, but says she has a lot more going on than I can help her with. I agree. Another agency told me I had to leave my job today and have her transported. I said I am not. One of the agencies will have to get her there, it's not safe for me to drive her there and I am not leaving work AGAIN. I am going to be fired soon. I have already packed up my personal belongings and put them in the car, so when they do it I can get out of here fast. My work has been affected, my emotions, my attendance, my attitude, Everything. I am hoping and praying that they will have one more ounce of patience and understanding with me and let me try to fix what I haven't been able to take care of during this never ending crisis.
I am not taking her home. They got her hospitalized and the social worker from school took her. I gave the hospital verbal consent over the phone. At this point I am not even going out there for a bit. I am not going to allow her to call me at her will either. I am putting restrictions on her phone time with me. She likes to call and try to control me thru the never ending whining and temper tantrums on the phone. Not being pulled in. No physical, emotional abuse, tonight. I don't have to worry when I turn around something is going to hit me in my face. I am safe today. I want to scream and shout and smile. Sounds a little nutty to me, but once I was a battered woman (husband, no longer) and I have the same type of reliefe when I would get away from him. Hasn't happened in twenty years, but it's the same relief. I am listening to What a beautiful world, and Get ready by a singer named Eva Cassidy. Please listen if you have an opportunity to today. She died of cancer many years ago, but has a perfect voice and can just make you feel good. You can U-tube her and try the live version at Blues Alley. Thank you for listening to me today and for your friendship. There isn't anyone to talk to about this, they just don't want to hear about it.