My 13 year old difficult child had a sleepover in a tent this past Friday night. I allowed it because he earned it with good behavior the week leading up to it. One of the boys brought a tent over. In the middle of the night, my son and 2 other boys came in the house, saying they got in a fight with the 4th boy and, because he was asleep, came in to avoid him. In the morning, I went out and discovered the 4th boy gone. I figured he rode his bike home, which he did. I proceeded to clear out the tent (I wanted to bring in the TV that they used). I looked into a book bag that was there to discover a bag of something that smelled very sweet, 3 lighters, and an empty pen tube that looked singed. I called the mother of the boy who owned the tent because, unfortunately, she confided in me that an older son of hers is currently in rehab. She came over and confirmed the bagged stuff is, basically, tobacco used to cigars. I guess kids take it and roll it and smoke it. My son assured me he did not smoke it. I went over to the 4th boys house with the mother that came over. This 4th boy, who is very destructive, admitted rolling it and smoking it. The "tent" boy admitted trying it, and my son (who sometimes lies) said they only blew the smoke in his face. This was a new tent (BRAND new) and one of the boys took a lighter to a flap on the doorway because it was stuck in the zipper. Apparently, this was my difficult child's idea, but he said he did not do the lighting. Plus he didn't see the potential for danger in his suggestion. Obviously, sleepovers are done for the summer. My difficult child is trying to behave, and I am trying to believe him. I have grounded him and also have forbidden him from seeing boy #4. He keeps after me because he says he did not do anything wrong. He said the reason the 3 boys came in the house during the night was because the 4th boy was doing this smoking thing and they decided they didn't want to. I'm proud of his decision and he is well aware of my feelings (that I am proud of him). He is still questioning, though, my desire to ground him to the house for a few days. I want to believe him, but every time I give in, I regret it. This child is always in the wrong place at the wrong time. He thinks the "bad" kids are cool and this always gets him into trouble. I need some guidance--do I continue grounding him to the house? My husband (his stepdad) is fed up with all the trouble he gets into. It really isn't a lot--it just appears that way. The 2 of them don't get along, so I am now 100% in charge of discipline. I am much fairer(maybe too lenient). I am softer and not as firm as my husband. If it were up to him, he would never listen to any reasoning from my son. He would probably empty his room. advice please!!!!!!!!!!!