Burndoubt
Burndoubt
Hello out there. I'm (painfully obvious) completely new here, haven't even figured out the Sig thing yet, but will try & figure it out in the morning.
I'm a stay at home mom to my 13yo difficult child Stepson with-ADHD & O.D.D., + easy child 1 daughter of my own, age 10 (from a previous marriage & easy child 2 daughter, age 5 (Stepson's dad & my 'new' hubby of 6 years).
In October of 2008, our 13yo difficult child SS molested our 5yo easy child 2. We were horrified, and notified the police & CPS immediately.
difficult child's response after a loud dissertation from husband on how wrong his actions were, was this,
"I am sorry for what I did... But that's why I told her not to tell, 'cuz you guys are all mad and crying now, and I didn't want that."
difficult child's been in counselling for years now. The shrinks say that he's emotionally about 8yo, trapped in a teenaged body. They said he's not 'sorry' for what he's done, he's sorry that he was caught (easy child 2 told us shortly after it happened).
Since then, difficult child has had at least one exhibition of "posession", aka screaming obscenities, spitting and crawling around on the floor, has called the police on us, claiming abuse (they saw thru it & scolded him), carved symbols into all furnishings in his room, destroyed several stolen (from family members) objects, threatened suicide SEVERAL times, once, even while stomping thru the home with a large kitchen knife.
Since all that, difficult child has come a Loooong way with counselling. However, still has issues with O.D.D. and ADHD. I'd informed husband the other night, my wish to have difficult child's medications 'tweaked' so he isn't quite so hyper/impetuous by the time he gets home from school. husband was NOT in agreement, however, 3 minutes after voicing his opinion, difficult child was found to have turned on the gas stove full blast under a cookie sheet to 'better cook his pizza' which he thought was too doughy on bottom.
by the way, the gas stove is a COMPLETE off limit zone for ALL children in our home. This has been known by all for a year.
Anyway, difficult child is never allowed in the same room as easy child 2. The easy child's can't hardly have friends over, due to difficult child's "issues". The neighbors rarely allow their kids to socialize with PCs anymore. easy child 1 hasn't slept well at all since this happened, sometimes has nightmares. easy child 2 has very little issue with-difficult child. Still runs up & hugs him regularly, which makes me want to jump in between them every time. Shrinks say she seems fine so far, we're keeping a close eye on her, still. easy child 1 grasps all that's gone on, and is actually taking all this the hardest. difficult child seems to think we all need to 'get over ourselves' and let him do whatever he wants.
husband's current job ends at the end of this summer. Was offered another job, 1 month @ home, 1 month away, for an unspecified amount of months.
He asked me what I'd need to be able to handle this.
I told him (terrified) that difficult child could not live here with the girls (pcs) & me if his father wasn't around to keep him in check. Amazingly enuf, he said he understood and seemed 2 take it @ face value.
Now, he's telling difficult child he knows he'd be fine with us while husband's gone. I am TERRIFIED that this is going to be turned around on me, and it'll all start again. husband thinks I need to let go of my anger with his son. This child smirks when he sees me scared of him. But he's come so far, why can't I forgive him for making our family afraid to come home, husband wants to know.
How can I NOT be 'Burndoubt'?
I'm a stay at home mom to my 13yo difficult child Stepson with-ADHD & O.D.D., + easy child 1 daughter of my own, age 10 (from a previous marriage & easy child 2 daughter, age 5 (Stepson's dad & my 'new' hubby of 6 years).
In October of 2008, our 13yo difficult child SS molested our 5yo easy child 2. We were horrified, and notified the police & CPS immediately.
difficult child's response after a loud dissertation from husband on how wrong his actions were, was this,
"I am sorry for what I did... But that's why I told her not to tell, 'cuz you guys are all mad and crying now, and I didn't want that."
difficult child's been in counselling for years now. The shrinks say that he's emotionally about 8yo, trapped in a teenaged body. They said he's not 'sorry' for what he's done, he's sorry that he was caught (easy child 2 told us shortly after it happened).
Since then, difficult child has had at least one exhibition of "posession", aka screaming obscenities, spitting and crawling around on the floor, has called the police on us, claiming abuse (they saw thru it & scolded him), carved symbols into all furnishings in his room, destroyed several stolen (from family members) objects, threatened suicide SEVERAL times, once, even while stomping thru the home with a large kitchen knife.
Since all that, difficult child has come a Loooong way with counselling. However, still has issues with O.D.D. and ADHD. I'd informed husband the other night, my wish to have difficult child's medications 'tweaked' so he isn't quite so hyper/impetuous by the time he gets home from school. husband was NOT in agreement, however, 3 minutes after voicing his opinion, difficult child was found to have turned on the gas stove full blast under a cookie sheet to 'better cook his pizza' which he thought was too doughy on bottom.
by the way, the gas stove is a COMPLETE off limit zone for ALL children in our home. This has been known by all for a year.
Anyway, difficult child is never allowed in the same room as easy child 2. The easy child's can't hardly have friends over, due to difficult child's "issues". The neighbors rarely allow their kids to socialize with PCs anymore. easy child 1 hasn't slept well at all since this happened, sometimes has nightmares. easy child 2 has very little issue with-difficult child. Still runs up & hugs him regularly, which makes me want to jump in between them every time. Shrinks say she seems fine so far, we're keeping a close eye on her, still. easy child 1 grasps all that's gone on, and is actually taking all this the hardest. difficult child seems to think we all need to 'get over ourselves' and let him do whatever he wants.
husband's current job ends at the end of this summer. Was offered another job, 1 month @ home, 1 month away, for an unspecified amount of months.
He asked me what I'd need to be able to handle this.
I told him (terrified) that difficult child could not live here with the girls (pcs) & me if his father wasn't around to keep him in check. Amazingly enuf, he said he understood and seemed 2 take it @ face value.
Now, he's telling difficult child he knows he'd be fine with us while husband's gone. I am TERRIFIED that this is going to be turned around on me, and it'll all start again. husband thinks I need to let go of my anger with his son. This child smirks when he sees me scared of him. But he's come so far, why can't I forgive him for making our family afraid to come home, husband wants to know.
How can I NOT be 'Burndoubt'?