When your beloved PCs leave home...moving on

[BusynMember]

This is for parents who have PCs who have truly been nothing (or ALMOST nothing) but wonderful to raise. And then they grow up, as they should. And I can tell that Jumper isn't even into high school much anymore. She is one step out the door, excited about her next journey...college and a dorm.

Prom was Saturday and as we took pictures, AND HER BOYFRIEND WON PROM KING (she had been queen last year), all I could think about was how these wonderful high school memories are over and that it is sad for me, but not for her. I can truly say Jumper has had a dream high school experience and has never given me anything but fun...whether she was playing one of three sports, pushing her grades up from barely passing to honor roll, hanging out with the good kids and picking a wonderful boyfriend, making jokes or just hanging out...she won't be there anymore. And she will change. Forever.

How did you others embrace this step? Sure she'll be home for visits and holidays, but she is a young lady now.

On top of that, Sonic is leaving as soon as he can get approved for an apartment. However, he will still be in the neighborhood.

Julie and 36 left under contentious circumstances so I didn't mourn their leaving, although now I miss Julie very, very much and wish she was not in Illinois. Still...new experience for me since Jumper and me are very close with no "issues" in the way.

 

[Confused]

I know you directed for those with PCs ( although my daughter has her trouble times, shes pretty good. I dont know what she qualifies as ) Im happy Jumper has done so well and am excited for her to! You have been so supportive of my kids and I, I just wanted to let you know Im thinking of you today. I would give you a a hug emotion but I cant find it anymore. Hugs

 

[DammitJanet]

MWM, while even my successful kid wasnt a true easy child growing up, it was still very hard on all of us when he left for boot camp. Im sure you remember it well...lol. Can you believe he has been gone for 11 years now!

We knew he was leaving to do what he had always wanted to do but it was still hard on him and us. There was the fear because of his choice but also a bit of excitement. One thing that was a bit funny and a bit of a heart tugger was when he came home for his first leave. He sat in our living room and said "I dont know why I always wanted to grow up so fast. Now I wish I was still a kid because I know I this will never be my home again." And he was right. His growing up home was in the past and he was moving on. He hasnt ever lived at home again.
Now if only the other two had been as easy.

 

[svengandhi]

All of my kids are pretty much pcs, even difficult child is evolving at this point. My main easy child is only baby girl and when she left for college 5 years ago, I had mixed feelings She was 10 hours away from me as I won't drive the 6 hours so if H doesn't go, I have to take Amtrak. I was happy that she was away from the double hockey stick place that is our home but I missed her. In 3 weeks, we will celebrate her graduation from a 5 year program with a masters' in Special Education. She's planning to live at home and work for at least a year while her boyfriend finishes up at college. Our relationship now is so much better than it used to be. She was daddy's girl but now after having been away, she can see him for what he really is (without my saying a word) and we are closer, though she is still close to him.

difficult child is away at college also, at the same school as baby girl. I talk to him more frequently than I did when he slept in the room next to mine and ate at my table. He is pursuing the same major I did and plans on law school so he seeks out my advice and opinions more than he ever did. I didn't think I'd miss him, but I do. He thanks me for my help and has even thanked me for paying his tuition this year and not making him take out loans.

MWM - you will find that your R with Jumper will change and evolve. The toughest time for me was when she came home for her first semester break and acted like she was in the dorm in terms of her hours. H began screaming and yelling. I sat her down and told her that she didn't have to have a curfew but she DID have to apprise us of her whereabouts in terms of whether she was coming home or staying with a friend. I also asked her not to make noise when she came in because the younger kids were asleep. She agreed and things have been great.

 

[TerryJ2]

I hear you.
It wasn't that bad at first, since easy child moved out in the middle of HS to stay with-friends, because difficult child was invading her space. So it was just another move.
What causes a problem for me is when I see her and spend time with her ... and then I remember how much fun she is. THEN I get teary eyed, when she has to leave.
It's like I submerge myself in daily chores and activities to blot out the lonesomeness.

 

[BusynMember]

Terry, that's what I'm afraid of. She isn't even home much. Being a social kid, she is always out and usually at her boyfriends house which is really nice, out in the country, always lots of kids there because he also has a popular twin brother. So maybe I talk to her five minutes a day. But when she is sleeping upstairs and wakes up in the morning and I know she's around, I feel better. Also, it is so much fun to watch the sports that Jumper is in and, of course, prom was GREAT when she won prom queen and her boyfriend won THIS year (in their school, it is a junior prom, not a senior prom...). She was never embarassed to be around me or have me cheer too loud or take pictures of her or hang with her at the mall. She wasn't THAT kid who was embarrassed to be with her parents. She gives hugs and kisses in front of her friends.

I am going to have a hard time. I will pretty much have an empty nest with Sonic gone from the house too. Guess I'll play even more with my doggies, go out more with hub, and visit my granddaughter as often as I can. You didnt' tell me what I wanted to hear, but your honesty helped me realize that I need more of a plan for when she is gone.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

I was fortunate because my easy child lives about 5-7 minutes from here and 1 block from my office! I can say that it was really tough when she moved out. She and I have the kind of mother/daughter relationship that I wished I had with my mother. She is caring, loving, creative, and a great young woman. I remember how excited she was to get her own place after she graduated from high school. She was getting an apartment with her best friend and starting college. We had been collecting things for her new place for several months. The day I drove away in my car, leaving her to sleep in her new place the first time, I honestly cried.

Now, five years removed from that time, we are in a new phase of both our lives. We have more in common now that she is in her own place, working as a nanny and running a small business. She has a vintage clothing and housewares business (50's thru 70's) where she sells on Etsy and Instagram and does local festivals and pop up vintage shows. We go to yard sale and estate sales together, she has dinner with difficult child and I about twice a week, and we talk on the phone usually twice a day! We have "family dinners" on Sunday (when she first moved out it was Thursday nights) where the kids and I spend time together and share a meal.

Life moves on but each phase has it's glory.