Hey everyone,
Wife again has not been getting her medication refills, , and am wondering if anyone has some suggestions on how to better encourage her to do so. I have tried to remind her, she says she has called several times but that they have not did anything about it. I know that this is not true. It can take a few days some times or even a week before they can get her into the doctor at the clinic where she goes. This is going on for almost all of December and now a week into Jan. They would not make her go this long.
I am getting kinda desperate at this point. She is yelling at everyone about absolutely everything. It is not quiet or peaceful for more than a few minutes when she is home with the kids and I. If I ask her a question about something, she gets mad and turns the question into a negative and yells. If I ask her what her schedule is for the day, she gets angry and rants and raves. If I talk to her, she gets mad. If I don't talk to her she gets mad. She has a bad day at work, or is upset with someone at work, she unloads all that anger towards me. I know that this is a safe way, (in her mind) to deal with the inner turmoil and aggression that the Bipolar causes her within. She dumps all of this inner baggage on me. What is left over then she tends to spill on the children. I would so much rather that all of it would be directed at me than the children, ( but there is only so much that one can take before overload weighs you down to much yourself.
Added to this, I have been doing most everything to keep the house running. She is working a lot, and I mean a lot of hours at the two jobs right now. In some ways that is a blessing, if she is not here things are much more peaceful at times. Up a 6am to get the kids up for school and out the door from between 6:50am and 7:20 am. Then getting myself ready to head to my decorating job with my long term client, out the door for the 40 minute drive by 8:30am. At the clients house from 9am - 2:30pm. Drive to the antique shop in the town where we live and be there by 3pm. Work there till about 6pm. Come home a 6pm and see if the kids have done their homework, get supper going or run and pick something up. Put laundry in when I get homeat 6pm and try to get 2 - 3 loads washed,dried and put up before bedtime. Get the kids clothes out for the next day for school and then iron them the next morning before they go to school. Add to the top of that, still working on getting our house put together since the move. (Which by the way, I have done absolutely everything, and I mean everything from the actually moving of the furniture and all other things from the old house to the new. Placed every item in the house and put every room somewhat together.)
She has did hardly anything, beside day before yesterday when she went through 4 of the kids closets and cleaned out what she said was too small or was messed up, and threw things away.
Then yesterday she had X amount of dollars for the week to pay get her tag for the van she got(remember that, LOL) and yes she should have already gotten it, but had not. She had the money for that and a couple of tires for that van, and then some for a couple of other minor bills and spending money till next pay check. She went out and got the two tires and then spent all the rest of it, ( and mean every last dime and nickel) on clothes for the boys and her. She has no money left and did not get the other things paid that she was supposed to. Ok, they might have needing some things, but a few things now, a few things throughout the month, yeah. I see that, but to use all the money??. I know that she has trouble with spending money to make herself feel better when she is in a bipolar funk. That is why I put absolutely no money from my income into the bank. If I do then there is a good chance that it might be gone with nothing paid. That means I can have a good amount of money in my wallet at times. I then have to hide my wallet at night in a different place each night to make sure she does not know where it is. And yes I do have to do that, because she has been known to take money out of it when she has spent all of the money she had for a week. I hate doing this, but it is a neccessity to assure that we can survive from month to month. This is the reason we have no Credit cards. She would spent every last one of them up to the limit and then leave me to find a way to pay all of them. She does not even have a debit card for our checking account. She thankfully recognized after a spending binge a few month ago, when she got off medications and then back on, how she had damaged our finances and could not have the card or she would spend till there was nothing in the bank, and had me destroy her card. Hope she does not go around me and try to get another one from the bank.
Ok, sorry everyone, not been posting much and then come and mini rant, but it does help sometimes to just type it out and let a little of the steam out that can build up. Ya'll know how that can be, ,
Hope everyones weeked goes well,
Tpaul
Wife again has not been getting her medication refills, , and am wondering if anyone has some suggestions on how to better encourage her to do so. I have tried to remind her, she says she has called several times but that they have not did anything about it. I know that this is not true. It can take a few days some times or even a week before they can get her into the doctor at the clinic where she goes. This is going on for almost all of December and now a week into Jan. They would not make her go this long.
I am getting kinda desperate at this point. She is yelling at everyone about absolutely everything. It is not quiet or peaceful for more than a few minutes when she is home with the kids and I. If I ask her a question about something, she gets mad and turns the question into a negative and yells. If I ask her what her schedule is for the day, she gets angry and rants and raves. If I talk to her, she gets mad. If I don't talk to her she gets mad. She has a bad day at work, or is upset with someone at work, she unloads all that anger towards me. I know that this is a safe way, (in her mind) to deal with the inner turmoil and aggression that the Bipolar causes her within. She dumps all of this inner baggage on me. What is left over then she tends to spill on the children. I would so much rather that all of it would be directed at me than the children, ( but there is only so much that one can take before overload weighs you down to much yourself.
Added to this, I have been doing most everything to keep the house running. She is working a lot, and I mean a lot of hours at the two jobs right now. In some ways that is a blessing, if she is not here things are much more peaceful at times. Up a 6am to get the kids up for school and out the door from between 6:50am and 7:20 am. Then getting myself ready to head to my decorating job with my long term client, out the door for the 40 minute drive by 8:30am. At the clients house from 9am - 2:30pm. Drive to the antique shop in the town where we live and be there by 3pm. Work there till about 6pm. Come home a 6pm and see if the kids have done their homework, get supper going or run and pick something up. Put laundry in when I get homeat 6pm and try to get 2 - 3 loads washed,dried and put up before bedtime. Get the kids clothes out for the next day for school and then iron them the next morning before they go to school. Add to the top of that, still working on getting our house put together since the move. (Which by the way, I have done absolutely everything, and I mean everything from the actually moving of the furniture and all other things from the old house to the new. Placed every item in the house and put every room somewhat together.)
She has did hardly anything, beside day before yesterday when she went through 4 of the kids closets and cleaned out what she said was too small or was messed up, and threw things away.
Then yesterday she had X amount of dollars for the week to pay get her tag for the van she got(remember that, LOL) and yes she should have already gotten it, but had not. She had the money for that and a couple of tires for that van, and then some for a couple of other minor bills and spending money till next pay check. She went out and got the two tires and then spent all the rest of it, ( and mean every last dime and nickel) on clothes for the boys and her. She has no money left and did not get the other things paid that she was supposed to. Ok, they might have needing some things, but a few things now, a few things throughout the month, yeah. I see that, but to use all the money??. I know that she has trouble with spending money to make herself feel better when she is in a bipolar funk. That is why I put absolutely no money from my income into the bank. If I do then there is a good chance that it might be gone with nothing paid. That means I can have a good amount of money in my wallet at times. I then have to hide my wallet at night in a different place each night to make sure she does not know where it is. And yes I do have to do that, because she has been known to take money out of it when she has spent all of the money she had for a week. I hate doing this, but it is a neccessity to assure that we can survive from month to month. This is the reason we have no Credit cards. She would spent every last one of them up to the limit and then leave me to find a way to pay all of them. She does not even have a debit card for our checking account. She thankfully recognized after a spending binge a few month ago, when she got off medications and then back on, how she had damaged our finances and could not have the card or she would spend till there was nothing in the bank, and had me destroy her card. Hope she does not go around me and try to get another one from the bank.
Ok, sorry everyone, not been posting much and then come and mini rant, but it does help sometimes to just type it out and let a little of the steam out that can build up. Ya'll know how that can be, ,
Hope everyones weeked goes well,
Tpaul