and... she doesn't want to go - even when it means missing a class that she doesn't want to be in! Even if I bribe her with lunch on the way back to school!
So, we haven't seen this therapist very often. And the therapist has told me that she doesn't know if appts will be very affective because difficult child doesn't want to be there. I have decided that today, I will just blurt out all the things difficult child has me worried about. Usually I try to be nice and mention positive things and just kind of hint about what we (both difficult child and me) could be doing better.
Here is my list:
That she wants to invite a guy over that is dating her friend, that smokes and gets stoned on weekends.
The fact that she lies about EVERYTHING... That she tries to turn everything around and make it my fault. ie: "if she only trusted me, then I wouldn't have to lie to her" and other nonsense.
That the inappropriate clothes she tried to wear last week are now "MIA" and I wonder if she sent them with a friend to take to school for her to change in to.
That she wants to dress really skanky. Plus, she always complains about how other girls don't like her or talk trash about her. I have tried to explain that while it isn't right, we are judges by how we dress, and many girls are not comfortable when other girls dress in a seductive manner, and act that way around guys at school. That if she would tone things down, maybe she would fit in, or at least not be mistreated.
Refused to hand over her iPod when we asked for it. That we had to take her door off the hinge because she has slammed it so many times. The door frame and hardware are practically shot from all her slamming.
That she states she no longer believes in God because he didn't answer her prayers. I am OK with questioning God and whether he exists... I've done that... but she wants to use it as a reason to not do youth group activities, continue friendships with kids who do believe, and as a general excuse to behave how she wants (if there isn't a God, then there isn't sin, thus you can do what you want). She has always loved our church camp and had a wonderful time last year (and each year she has gone) now she doesn't think she wants to go this summer. I tried to explain that whether there is a God or not, there are repercussions for our actions, and we suffer when we make bad choices.
Exudes an aurora of hate and disgust that makes it difficult for me to want to spend time with her. Tells her little sis that she is going to beat her and other such remarks. Treats her sister like trash, but then moans and groans that her brothers don't live with us and that she didn't get to grow up with them. Both have said that when they do visit, they are embarrassed by her clothes and actions. One brother is 25 and raised by a stepmom, and the other is now 16 and lives with biodad.
So, I am sure with all the stuff I want to bring up, J will probably show her true self and not just hulk and hunker down in the corner of the sofa at her office. So, wither we get real, or I am going to stop wasting the therapists time and my money. KSM
So, we haven't seen this therapist very often. And the therapist has told me that she doesn't know if appts will be very affective because difficult child doesn't want to be there. I have decided that today, I will just blurt out all the things difficult child has me worried about. Usually I try to be nice and mention positive things and just kind of hint about what we (both difficult child and me) could be doing better.
Here is my list:
That she wants to invite a guy over that is dating her friend, that smokes and gets stoned on weekends.
The fact that she lies about EVERYTHING... That she tries to turn everything around and make it my fault. ie: "if she only trusted me, then I wouldn't have to lie to her" and other nonsense.
That the inappropriate clothes she tried to wear last week are now "MIA" and I wonder if she sent them with a friend to take to school for her to change in to.
That she wants to dress really skanky. Plus, she always complains about how other girls don't like her or talk trash about her. I have tried to explain that while it isn't right, we are judges by how we dress, and many girls are not comfortable when other girls dress in a seductive manner, and act that way around guys at school. That if she would tone things down, maybe she would fit in, or at least not be mistreated.
Refused to hand over her iPod when we asked for it. That we had to take her door off the hinge because she has slammed it so many times. The door frame and hardware are practically shot from all her slamming.
That she states she no longer believes in God because he didn't answer her prayers. I am OK with questioning God and whether he exists... I've done that... but she wants to use it as a reason to not do youth group activities, continue friendships with kids who do believe, and as a general excuse to behave how she wants (if there isn't a God, then there isn't sin, thus you can do what you want). She has always loved our church camp and had a wonderful time last year (and each year she has gone) now she doesn't think she wants to go this summer. I tried to explain that whether there is a God or not, there are repercussions for our actions, and we suffer when we make bad choices.
Exudes an aurora of hate and disgust that makes it difficult for me to want to spend time with her. Tells her little sis that she is going to beat her and other such remarks. Treats her sister like trash, but then moans and groans that her brothers don't live with us and that she didn't get to grow up with them. Both have said that when they do visit, they are embarrassed by her clothes and actions. One brother is 25 and raised by a stepmom, and the other is now 16 and lives with biodad.
So, I am sure with all the stuff I want to bring up, J will probably show her true self and not just hulk and hunker down in the corner of the sofa at her office. So, wither we get real, or I am going to stop wasting the therapists time and my money. KSM