Steely
Active Member
I had to terminate an employee yesterday with my Asst Store Manager. I have only worked there for 6 weeks, so I was more of a witness, but this employee has always creeped me out since I started working there. Bad eyes, creepy body language - shifty.
So yesterday my ASM and I have the termination talk with him, and then ask him to leave the store. He then starts making all of the crazy remarks directly, and in calculated, burning resentment towards the ASM:
"If there is any trouble or problems it will all be your fault"
"You should not take your trip to Mexico, you do not belong there. You should not go there, I'm telling you."
"You should not eat the food in Mexico, or there will be problems."
"You should never eat Mexican food again."
And then as he was leaving, he turned to reiterate to ASM,
"Did you hear me? You better not eat Mexican food. Period"
I know, written, those sound rather benign.......and I know I have severe PTSD from dealing with difficult child and past stuff from his bio dad's abuse and threats, and my dad..........none the less, both ASM and I were trembling when he left. The man is obviously from Mexico, and knew ASM was leaving for a trip there soon - and he was obviously trying to scare us - but there was such a creepy, calculated manner about him, it has totally freaked me out. It was like having this conversation with Jeffrey Dahmer or something. Seriously.
We called the police, and filed criminal trespassing charges against him for the store - but he told ASM and me there was really nothing we could do for our own personal safety except stay vigilant. As if I am not in a constant state of vigilance from difficult child!!! Just what I needed! I did not sleep all night, and when I did there were simply a succession of nightmares.
I guess the clincher was that when I told my sister, and friends they all said "Oh, I am sure he was just trying to scare you. I would not worry about it. I am sure it is nothing." OK, granted, it probably was nothing, I think - but yet, it felt to me like it really was something. I mean, he seemed truly the kind of guy that would somehow try to hurt someone else in a vengeful act because he felt slighted.
So when my friend said that to me, it immediately invalidated the severity of fear I really did feel, and made it seem as if I was just over exaggerating things. In fact my sister asked me, "well, does your ASM tend to be dramatic in these sorts of things?" Meaning since we were both upset and trembling, we must both be dramatizing this????
Sigh, I don't know. Maybe it just wrenched my PTSD up a gear - but this morning I feel horrible. Fragmented, teary, jumpy, tired, and frustrated. And I am mad that this happened. I need a work place that I can feel safe, at least in theory, all of the time - because I don't feel that at home. And I felt like he was trying to take that away, and at least temporarily, he succeeded.
Thanks for listening. I am SO so tired of abusive, threatening people. :frown:
And valid or not, I really am scared for her, for me, for the people in our store. He struck me as a psychopath - a serial killer in the making - or already made, and not discovered.
So yesterday my ASM and I have the termination talk with him, and then ask him to leave the store. He then starts making all of the crazy remarks directly, and in calculated, burning resentment towards the ASM:
"If there is any trouble or problems it will all be your fault"
"You should not take your trip to Mexico, you do not belong there. You should not go there, I'm telling you."
"You should not eat the food in Mexico, or there will be problems."
"You should never eat Mexican food again."
And then as he was leaving, he turned to reiterate to ASM,
"Did you hear me? You better not eat Mexican food. Period"
I know, written, those sound rather benign.......and I know I have severe PTSD from dealing with difficult child and past stuff from his bio dad's abuse and threats, and my dad..........none the less, both ASM and I were trembling when he left. The man is obviously from Mexico, and knew ASM was leaving for a trip there soon - and he was obviously trying to scare us - but there was such a creepy, calculated manner about him, it has totally freaked me out. It was like having this conversation with Jeffrey Dahmer or something. Seriously.
We called the police, and filed criminal trespassing charges against him for the store - but he told ASM and me there was really nothing we could do for our own personal safety except stay vigilant. As if I am not in a constant state of vigilance from difficult child!!! Just what I needed! I did not sleep all night, and when I did there were simply a succession of nightmares.
I guess the clincher was that when I told my sister, and friends they all said "Oh, I am sure he was just trying to scare you. I would not worry about it. I am sure it is nothing." OK, granted, it probably was nothing, I think - but yet, it felt to me like it really was something. I mean, he seemed truly the kind of guy that would somehow try to hurt someone else in a vengeful act because he felt slighted.
So when my friend said that to me, it immediately invalidated the severity of fear I really did feel, and made it seem as if I was just over exaggerating things. In fact my sister asked me, "well, does your ASM tend to be dramatic in these sorts of things?" Meaning since we were both upset and trembling, we must both be dramatizing this????
Sigh, I don't know. Maybe it just wrenched my PTSD up a gear - but this morning I feel horrible. Fragmented, teary, jumpy, tired, and frustrated. And I am mad that this happened. I need a work place that I can feel safe, at least in theory, all of the time - because I don't feel that at home. And I felt like he was trying to take that away, and at least temporarily, he succeeded.
Thanks for listening. I am SO so tired of abusive, threatening people. :frown:
And valid or not, I really am scared for her, for me, for the people in our store. He struck me as a psychopath - a serial killer in the making - or already made, and not discovered.