Hang in there, go easy on yourself. There was an info session on Aussie TV yesterday, the doctors on it were saying that mammograms are always worth having but they DO have a high 'false positive' result. However, it's considered worth it because they also pick up just about everything really early so mammorgams save lives.
So don't panic. Chances are that despite your family history, this could be something simple, something benign or nothing at all really. But if it IS something - then if you have mammograms regularly, it's been caught at a much earlier stage than would have been found with physical examination. Also these days looking at the absolute worst case scenario, a full-on nastiest breast cancer of them all is stilll curable at this stage.
A friend of ours has a mother who is a breast cancer survivor. Two aunts who have died. So she knew she was at risk. Genetically she carries the gene which predisposes her to breast cancer, so she chose to have her family as soon as she married. She'd had all her kids well before she turned 30 (I was just getting started!).
Then they found breast cancer. despite all her vigilance and regular mammograms, she still got breast cancer. And it was the nastiest one she could have had - the most aggressive kind, she was told. They operated - removed part of one breast (not all of both as we thought they would do) and also took all the lymph nodes on that side. I forget exactly how many they took, 24 or something. And 22 were positive for cancer. Absolutely the worst possible, we figured. Health professionals who are friends of ours quietly shook their heads and said, "She'd dead. Just doesn't know it yet."
She went through chemo and radiation treatment. Along the way they did biopsies of her other breast, they did reconstruction work (taking fat from her tummy - the fastest way to look good!) and although it was rough at times, she has come trough it. Not sure how many years it has been. I do remember her youngest daughter was just hitting puberty when it all began (and the symbolism of her mother losing breasts from cancer just as her own were developing, was certianly not lost on the girl - she was a mess for a while) and I know the girl has now finished high school and is at uni, has been for a few years. Mum is cancer-free, as far as the doctors can tell. And she looks great, feels great. In her shoes I would have said, "lop 'em both off" but she actually kept some of one breast, all of the other. And you wouldn't know to look at her (except for the tiny tattoos they did to line up the radiotherapy).
So that is a good survival from worst case scenario.
And it's highly likely you have a false positive.
When I stop and think, I know of three females close to me (including a young niece) who have had partial or full mastectomies in recent years due to aggressive breast cancer. ALL of them are not only alive, but believed to be cancer-free. And looking/feeling great.
Breast cancer is not the death sentence it was once, thanks to mammograms.
So hang in there. Of course you're scared. it's nature's way of you getting yourself ready to handle it in case it's bad news. But you will come through this. Having the mammograms regularly is the best thing you can do for your health. And tihs is the other side of it all, the high chance of false positives.
You'll be OK, whatever happens. You can do this.
Oh, they were also saying (on different Aussie TV - the news tis time) that scientists have discovered that breast cancer arises from cells lining the milk ducts and not from breast stem cells as was previously thought. So there's new stuff all the time that helps them pinpoint treatment and improve understanding.
Congrats on your year of being clean. There is no connection between it all. As far as I know, there is absolutely no link between abusing drugs of ANY kind, and breast cancer. So go ahead and enjoy your special day knowing that your dutiful vigilance has just paid off.
Marg