I got an e-mail from her closest friend (who I had contacted in an attempt to reach her). The friend wrote back and said that she had given B. the picture of N. and how to reach me and that B. wants me to know that now she knows how to contact me. That was it, but now I'm freaked out the other way. I can't win, can I? LOL. It will be a long time, even if B. contacts me, that she will get to see N. I want to hear about her life first and get to know her and exchange our thoughts. At twelve, N. may be too young to really see her face-to-face and I'm leaving that up to an Adoption Therapist that I trust. But at least I can let her know about this child, show her pictures, and maybe prepare for a meeting several years down the road. My closest friend who is adopted feels that this is too young for an actual meeting, but that some questions can be answered, letters maybe exchanged. Me, I'm going to spend a lot of time with the Adoption Therapist. She counsels adopted kids all the time and does group with them too. I wish she was closer--I'd sent N. to her group. But she is in Green Bay and I don't live that close to Green Bay. Still, we talk on the phone a lot and she is very helpful. I sought out B. after N. had been teary-eyed and emotional, which had made ME teary-eyed and emotion. Now that N. is over that for now and full speed ahead with her busy life, I'm not so sure I should disrupt it at her age. So I will lean heavily upon professionals. Every step of the way. But I feel a little better now. At least B. is thinking about N. That's important. Thanks for reading.