You could feel the anxiety radiating off...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Jul 22, 2007.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    kt last night. She finally blew up with all that's going on around here. She screamed at me....told me I was too old & too many things could go wrong so I die.

    I'm 50 - death is not eminent. :crazy2: I'm sure that my doctor's would have let me in on that little truth.

    And there is no reasoning with a difficult children mind. I always tell kt that I will let her know when it's time to worry. I've never let her down on that promise.

    Having said that, kt forgot that promise & was convinced I was going to die last night.

    After a huge outlet of emotion (i.e. meltdown), we sat down at midnight & played a couple of game of fish. Proceeded to go outside & sit on the patio (with husband's help) & talk about silly things. The poor kid just needed a break. husband started a fire in the fire pit & the 3 of us sat outside & watched the fire for an hour. (I'll pay for that physically today)

    kt finally settled down & headed up to bed, promising she would talk before she blew up again.
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    You know, my kids get concerned whenever I have been through a series of medical tests. It sounds like a normal reaction that any kid might have given what you've been through, only taken to the extreme.

    I hope she settles down--how hard on all of you.
  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    That was probably necessary for her. So very sad, but it's been brewing. Like a lot of these crises, they wait until you're better enough to cope at least a bit.

    If you pay for it today, it will still probably be worth it. I hope your pain levels aren't too out of control. If I've had an extra-active day and my pain levels are up, my pain specialist has told me, "Don't be brave, take extra medications to deal with the pain." The end result, if I'm careful to only take what I need, is I often end up taking less overall. Getting on top of the pain makes it easier to manage. It's better than not quite taking enough, then needing to top up with the maximum every three hours and wishing I could take more. Hit it hard first, and I can go back to every six hours.

    Does that make sense? Basically, I was told to not wait until I'm in agony, take something as soon as I feel the pain getting a bit too much and that should help me stay in control of it.

    Also, I never take pain medications to totally eliminate all pain - I always leave a little bit tapping me on the shoulder. Taking enough to knock out the pain would knock me out too - and I have to be on deck, coping.

    If you can rest up in the morning to compensate for the late night, then do so. It should reduce any fallout.

    Good luck and give kt a hug for me. My kt (easy child) had a few teary tantrums like this with me, too, trying to come to terms with the change in my ability.

  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Thanks Marg, that's what my doctor's keep telling me. Don't let the pain get out of hand before I take my medications.

    I believe I told kt that she could take a day to herself today - hang out in pj's or do the walk with husband & Sally along the river. Last night she spent 2 hours writing in her journal.
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Kt's fears and anxieties are so totally normal given your current health concerns. It's really tough for our kids, easy child and difficult child, to see their parents ill. Our kids do worry about us. What you did last night with your conversation and your late night family time was perfect. She needed that reassurance.

    I hope it's not too bad physically for you today. You made one of those fabulous parental sacrifices and looked out for her needs above your own. Your a great mom!

    Have a restful day.

  6. On_Call

    On_Call New Member


    It must almost be a relief that kt finally released the worry and tension that has been building up. I think your family time was perfect and just what she needed. Writing in her journal is awesome - that itself can be such a great outlet.

    I hope your day today isn't too bad.
  7. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    So sorry. :::hugs:::
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It sounds like you handled the situation well. I hope you weren't in too much pain today. Hugs.
  9. blb

    blb New Member

    Actually Linda, considering the circumstances, it really sounds like KT was completely age appropriate in what she of course you weren't too graphic in describing her meltdown ;), but seriously, not only was it age appropriate, but in some ways it was way past that because she said she would try to talk about it in the future instead of blowing up again. She didn't internalize it and disassociate which is great too!

    Hope today wasn't too much of a struggle for you!