lovemysons
Well-Known Member
and teaching me too. Yep, he told me yesterday after Parole Office visit that he would like to go in alone next time. He said he wanted his PO to know that he is responsible for his choices, for the requirements and that he is a man and capable of handling things on his own. Sigh, he had to remind me that he is a Man now...no longer a child.
He has shared some of what it takes to survive in prison with me...It is SO UGLY. Always having to look over your shoulder, watching what others do how they behave, never appearing weak or vulnerable lest someone take something from you, standing up for yourself quickly. It is a highly abusive place.
It is hard for me to hear what he has seen from this "side of humanity".
It has been a VERY busy week so far...Have been to the Parole Office twice to see the Parole Officer, get handed a long list of requirements (and I took notes for Young difficult child), be drug tested (yesterday). Young difficult child also had a 3 hour Orientation in Downtown Dallas yesterday morning. Another next Wednesday along with an "at home visit" from Parole officer next Wednesday. Must also go to Overcomers twice a week...is like AA.
He is working today with his brother...I will pick him up hopefully at the train station in nearby town around 4:30.
His wife and kids have been with him every evening for the past 3 nights.
I went to the casino alone last night after long day. I lost. I came home and young difficult child was asleep in bed with the light on...it was around 10:30. He quickly opened up his eyes when I walked into his room. I asked him if he would like me to turn off the light and he said yes. Maybe it was good that he awoke for a moment and knew he was safe at home in bed.
husband took young difficult child to work this morning but this afternoon sounded putout that he was making the arrangements for me to pick young difficult child up at the train station. In my defense, I DID text Oldest difficult child to see if he would be able to drop young difficult child off at Train Station in Dallas...but had gotten no response.
I know husband and I will be tested through this experience of having young difficult child at home. I am the mom...I want young difficult child to be "taken care of" to be comfortable. husband wants young difficult child to "take care of himself".
I know I am in the wrong to some degree...I must back off and really try hard to not enable, but to allow young difficult child to do for self. It goes against my nature.
Oh...Young difficult child shared with me some of his "spiritual insights" now. He told me he thought it somewhat pretentions that I write God out as G-d. As though I have a superior relationship or respect for the Almighty.
SO...I am going to start writing God and Lord in regular terms from now as I could see young difficult child's point.
He said he DOES believe in a Creator and definitely in Karma...he said he saw people treat others one way one week and then a week or two later saw them get the same treatment back from others.
I am trying to stay steady and strong.
It is hard.
Thank you all again for the support, for all the care, for all the love and prayer.
My young difficult child is a very special human being. I think he has learned ALOT from his experience in prison and never Never EVER wants to go back!!!
love you guys,
LMS
He has shared some of what it takes to survive in prison with me...It is SO UGLY. Always having to look over your shoulder, watching what others do how they behave, never appearing weak or vulnerable lest someone take something from you, standing up for yourself quickly. It is a highly abusive place.
It is hard for me to hear what he has seen from this "side of humanity".
It has been a VERY busy week so far...Have been to the Parole Office twice to see the Parole Officer, get handed a long list of requirements (and I took notes for Young difficult child), be drug tested (yesterday). Young difficult child also had a 3 hour Orientation in Downtown Dallas yesterday morning. Another next Wednesday along with an "at home visit" from Parole officer next Wednesday. Must also go to Overcomers twice a week...is like AA.
He is working today with his brother...I will pick him up hopefully at the train station in nearby town around 4:30.
His wife and kids have been with him every evening for the past 3 nights.
I went to the casino alone last night after long day. I lost. I came home and young difficult child was asleep in bed with the light on...it was around 10:30. He quickly opened up his eyes when I walked into his room. I asked him if he would like me to turn off the light and he said yes. Maybe it was good that he awoke for a moment and knew he was safe at home in bed.
husband took young difficult child to work this morning but this afternoon sounded putout that he was making the arrangements for me to pick young difficult child up at the train station. In my defense, I DID text Oldest difficult child to see if he would be able to drop young difficult child off at Train Station in Dallas...but had gotten no response.
I know husband and I will be tested through this experience of having young difficult child at home. I am the mom...I want young difficult child to be "taken care of" to be comfortable. husband wants young difficult child to "take care of himself".
I know I am in the wrong to some degree...I must back off and really try hard to not enable, but to allow young difficult child to do for self. It goes against my nature.
Oh...Young difficult child shared with me some of his "spiritual insights" now. He told me he thought it somewhat pretentions that I write God out as G-d. As though I have a superior relationship or respect for the Almighty.
SO...I am going to start writing God and Lord in regular terms from now as I could see young difficult child's point.
He said he DOES believe in a Creator and definitely in Karma...he said he saw people treat others one way one week and then a week or two later saw them get the same treatment back from others.
I am trying to stay steady and strong.
It is hard.
Thank you all again for the support, for all the care, for all the love and prayer.
My young difficult child is a very special human being. I think he has learned ALOT from his experience in prison and never Never EVER wants to go back!!!
love you guys,
LMS