YUCKY night

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Jun 8, 2012.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    The therapy center arranged for all families to go to the MN zoo and stay after hours...they got free food, a stuffed penguin and to stay two hours after closing for a private time there...

    Q was with his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker. He decided he wanted to try playing with his friends after...which would be late. I have had a rule since last time that he needs 6 days of no incidents and then we can try a little time. Well he was amazing when I got him from school, went to get his hair cut was saying he plans to be really nice to show me he is ready (Putting pressure on himself??) and he did amazing there...then a sudden change...pushing into me, elbowing me, blocking me so I couldn't get to the car, slapped my forearm....

    His Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker showed up so I got in the car and drove off....he calmed, they went to the zoo and he did w ell then refused t o take medications unless s he called and I a greed he c ould go t o play with the kids outside. I said we can talk when he does w hat he needs t o do and when he is calm. Ended u p tipping chairs a nd tables in an isolated p art of t he z oo....no kids around, scratched the Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker, I drove over and he ran into the parking lot where all the kids and families were getting in their car and s tarted banging on m y car, s wearing demanding to go to a s tore by our complex so h e could just walk o ff a n d see t he kids. I s aid no and all he ll broke loose even more....I called 911 (different city this time) and the 911 operator was sooo great...said she is explaining he is autistic with no weapons, etc...I said I just need them to show up so he will get his mind o n t h em and off what he is stuck on an d one c op screamed at him...I looked at him and said HEY! so he came to me and said I have training and sometimes...I stopped him and said for THIS kid, you will escalate him with that tone and he will imitate it for months or years....He was defensive but I figured if I could keep him busy the other cop could do his job. The other cop took over and was really good....by the time Q saw them he quick asked Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) for his medications (LOL) and then sat on the median and was rocking back and forth..

    We were supposed to have that Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) come as a special day with us to the Christian all day outdoor concert we go to (lots of free stuff which he loves) but he understood right away that I was telling her to t ake a break and she was glad but made sure he knew she would be back next week. He said sorry to her like 15 times even after she said she was not coming tomorrow. He has been great for me too....But did admit to "feeling fake" darn...I am not surprised since he stepped on a scale and he seems to have g ained11 lbs since 1.5 months ago! Neuro called me and wants to increase his medications.

    NOT a fun night. In thinking of it, he found out his therapy schedule/therapists were ALL changing for summer, today was the last day of his new school, he THOUGHT he was going to ESY at his old ESY place because afterall it was not his middle school where the problem happened so why not...he was sooo mad....and this was a schedule change/special event....

    I hate autism sometimes. These days can be great or end like this....always a gamble.
     
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    (((hugs)))
     
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    It does really hoover when THEIR plans are changed. I mean I don't like it when things don't go the way I want them to but I can't imagine when that same even can cause my world to collapse. Glad you got the one cop to stop for a minute. They THINK they have the appropriate training but what they have is usually not even close to real life situations.
     
  4. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Ugh. I am so sorry Buddy. It sounds like a whole lot of things added up to one bad night. Q sure had a growth spurt!! But, at least he was able to tell you he was "feeling fake." How funny is it that I completely understood what he meant. I hope with some medications adjustment and a new summer routine, Q will settle in. Transitions hoover. difficult child isn't autistic, and I still need to explain exactly what is going to happen, and sometimes we still have issues. Hope the rest of the summer goes more smoothly. Hugs.
     
  5. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Sorry things were so yucky...
    Just to help me understand, last thing I want is for my question to come across offensively... but would it be possible to explain what happens for Q when he "loses it" and gets violent? Is it like a kind of snow coming down in his brain, in some sense? This is idiot question no 3,267, so please excuse it, but there is nothing, presumably (otherwise you would have tried it) that can help him control the violence towards you?
    Must be so hard to live with sometimes... and you do live with it, and graciously, and well. And finding the love and the joy, which sound like they are there in abundance. Sorry, must sound like I'm rambling. I just know how stressed and upset I still can get with J, not really having fully accepted (I suppose) that he is a special needs child, in a sense. Accepting that must be more than half the battle.
     
  6. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    Sorry had such a rough night Buddy - you're all right Autism hoovers :vacuumsm: so does bipolar

    I wonder which are more dangerous the clueless cops or the ones who know it all?
     
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Not offended at all. The aggression is being addressed on all fronts. Counseling for direct teaching of cause and effect, problem solving, etc and Occupational Therapist (OT) to help with the sensory triggers and calming techniques, speech/ lang to work on the processing and cognitive rehab as well as being able to follow directions better. medications to help ....the seiZures make him feel sudden anger and he associates it with whatever is going on in his head or around him. If there was one thing then I suppose it would be easier. Think out of control toddler tantrums .
    .you try to explain and teach ...but that alone doesnt help ....but q isn't able to just grow out of it, can't easily take another's perspective ESPECIALLY in the heat of stress. Those whom I trust say it should get better in his later twenties as impulse control improves etc....but a brain injury like this wont heal. We have to manage it. He will likely always have issues. Good our area is pretty autism aware and don't haul off kids. A cop even told q once ...wish he didn't, that he is just there to help till he calms ...one did say he was gonna take it out of my hands (for that instance ) if he didn't calm. ....He gets so stuck. He was perseverating and their coming seemed to just switch his thoughts enough.

    Today we are at an all day concert we go to every year. He has his ear plugs and is doing very well. Asking ME to go to activities etc. Only a couple of frustrations (he is now refusing to walk on stairs ...was escalators. Talked him into two steps and he fell ...he grabbed me and was upset. He is really off balance ...further evidence for the seizure theory. ) but knock wood we are doing great at 730 pm...have been here since 1030 am. Well music again ..c u later ...
     
  8. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I'm sorry you and Q and Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) had such a bad night. Hope the music went well. Good luck with the growth spurt.
     
  9. bigbear11

    bigbear11 Guest

    So sorry you had such a bad night. It is so frustrating when you have high hopes for a fun outing and then just the opposite happens. Hope things are better.
     
  10. HopeRemains

    HopeRemains New Member

    I am sorry that you all had such a bad night. I read in your response about how a couple of officers responded to Q- and that was a question I was planning on asking. What do you think the ideal response should be when police become involved? Does it usually stop Q's behavior- for how long?
     
  11. buddy

    buddy New Member

    When the police show up he stops and sits down so is no longer a threat....he may be still talking/perseverating but he is not in a threatening place...in this case he was on h is butt on the grass, arms in his lap and rocking back and forth just going on and o n about...that's what she gets when I cant play with my friends ...why cant I go to t hat store etc...and the first cop screamed at him to stop....of course he started rocking faster and being louder so that is why I called him...NOW...the other cop went over and got down to his level and said hey buddy, what's going on??? and Q's voice matched his...just talked. the guy said can you get in mom's car quietly now??? he said sure and did just that.

    I mean, if he was still running at me OR if he had a weapon ever....I would just back off till he was under control but that has never happened. For now, I will let them know what is likely to escalate things vs. calm....
     
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