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Hi newstart. I have been reading along. I wonder if who your daughter is trying to kid, is herself. My sister who I haven't had a relationship with or seen for many years boasts. I just can't stand that quality. She likes asserting superiority over people. I can't stand that quality either. But...

One of the things that adults need to do is to play the hand they were dealt. It is too late for any of us to get a new deal. We can't turn in our cards and insist on another try. We can't intimidate our fellow players to trade their cards for ours. This is what comes with maturity. The...

First I will tell you how sorry I am you received this gut punch. When my son's life went off a cliff, so did mine. It took many years and a lot of posting before I got myself back. So what I write here in no way is to diminish how hard this is. But here goes: Who knows about your son's arrest...

OK. This is good, to a point. No drinking is good. But what is your son looking to you for? This is the thing: the updates you need are from you, not him. He needs to come to live for himself, his own well-being. Not how it affects you. This is the cord that has to be broken. Love is not...

This is the red line that has been crossed. You can't ignore it. In the USA there is something called a restraining order. that limits contact with somebody who has threatened violence against us. In your situation, your son has already acted violently and has a pattern of violence. People get a...

I am so so sorry.

Won't this be better, that he has to find another place if she drinks? Your son is not homeless yet. There are places he can live, if he takes, action. He very well may step up. My son has been homeless many years. He uses marijuana. I've tried everything, including buying a house for him. Not...

You are not weak. There is nobody on earth I believe who would have an easy time with this situation. You can think about what you are going through now is a workout to strengthen you. A way to bulk up or beef up when confronting difficult challenges. The key here is to become stronger, not...

This is not a fault, it's an attribute. But we can't control everything. And we need an attribute where we can deal with life when we can't control it. (Which is nearly all of the time.) This is what you're working to develop now. It is your work now to handle this fear. Writing the letter...

I think the issue here is you learning to calm yourself, stay in yourself, and stay in the present. It really has nothing to do with your daughter, even though you think it does. If you were to calm yourself, in the present--you would return to yourself and your life. You are perseverating about...

If your daughter is violent and a danger to you or your property there are restraining orders to keep her away.

There is no other reality than we reap what we sow. If your daughter is violent and mean, she will be held to account. That is the nature of life. And it is for the good. A parent can't stand in the way of consequence, nor should they. Your work is to accept that. Where I live, these are homes...

All of the power is in you. I know it doesn't feel like that but it is so. First of all (I have just a minute so this will be just a start) there is the decision on your part to give your brain a rest and not to obsess. I think it's New Leaf who says, get off the Merry Go Round. You're the...

To me, this is a travesty. If he were arrested he would have a chance. He would detox. He could get on medication. He prefers his drug. He prefers what he experiences as freedom. Praying with you Beta. Love, Copa

That's not so. They get toiletries, soap, toothpaste, shampoo, and the like. The other side of the coin is that money on the books can be a way that the more vulnerable are preyed upon. This is where all of us are, who post. What we have to live with. Again the bottom line is this may be the...

It is just as likely that she may turn to somebody in jail, like a psychologist or psychiatrist, for support; she may accept medication or work with professionals to find a better medication. She might decide to do something for herself, like go to a 12-step group, if they're available. I worked...

I left home when I was 17. There were many times I had to find a home when I did not have one. I couch-surfed various times. Once, or twice I stayed with relatives. Once I stayed in a motel. I never, ever thought I was "homeless." I just found a place to live. And I always worked. You are a...

When my son hit 23 I couldn't take anymore (NOT.) One day after work I mustered the courage and told him to leave. Just. Like.That. He banged on the windows all night. I feel guilty still. That was 12 years ago. And then there was the next stage. He was out of the house, but I couldn't let go...

Hi Beta Good to see you here. You're welcome.

It is raining hard here where t live. Before It started I went out to get the dog who didn't want to come in then. Now it's pouring. The dog is hiding somewhere in the yard. And then I remember. My son is out in this too. Homeless. In this torrential rain. Me and the cats are warm and dry...