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1 month into detaching...
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 678716" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Drowning,</p><p></p><p>First, I'm jealous you have been wintering in FL. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> I live in the upper Midwest and while it's been a mild winter, it's still winter.</p><p></p><p>About the car, I was having deja vu. husband and I purchased a $4000 car for our son, we wrote up a loan agreement that he agreed to and signed. We knocked off $1000 just to be nice and he was to pay us $100 a month, well you can guess how that turned out.</p><p>I knew going into it that I may never see the money and had already accepted the fact that I would most likely be out the money.</p><p>He ended up giving the car to his landlord for back rent. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /></p><p>Live and learn.</p><p>I think it's great that you sent him an invoice detailing what he owes you. I too sent my son a breakdown a couple of times.</p><p>I just don't want you to get your hopes up in getting your money back but I do think it's important to make them aware of what they owe.</p><p></p><p>Oh the distance of miles between us and our d_cs offers so much peace. I'm sorry for the anxiety you are feeling as you prepare to go home. I think you have a really good grasp on what needs to happen in order to detach from your son.</p><p>I can also relate to the issues between you and your husband. I too went through some rough patches with my husband.</p><p>My husband was always more willing to continue to give where I was DONE! Our son's drama and chaos was consuming our lives. There was nothing else and it was driving a wedge between us. Something we started to do was to take long drives on the weekends, just head out and explore. We only had one rule, no discussing Difficult Child. This helped us to reconnect. My husband did finally start to see and understand how our son's chaos was having a negative effect on me.</p><p></p><p>It might be helpful to have your husband read the article on detachment.</p><p><a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/#axzz3z7s9C3oc" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/#axzz3z7s9C3oc</a></p><p></p><p></p><p>Stand firm and stick to what is right for you.</p><p></p><p>We are here for you!!</p><p></p><p>I hope you have a safe trip back home.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/staystrong.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":staystrong:" title="staystrong :staystrong:" data-shortname=":staystrong:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/group-hug.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":group-hug:" title="group hug :group-hug:" data-shortname=":group-hug:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 678716, member: 18516"] Hi Drowning, First, I'm jealous you have been wintering in FL. ;) I live in the upper Midwest and while it's been a mild winter, it's still winter. About the car, I was having deja vu. husband and I purchased a $4000 car for our son, we wrote up a loan agreement that he agreed to and signed. We knocked off $1000 just to be nice and he was to pay us $100 a month, well you can guess how that turned out. I knew going into it that I may never see the money and had already accepted the fact that I would most likely be out the money. He ended up giving the car to his landlord for back rent. :mad: Live and learn. I think it's great that you sent him an invoice detailing what he owes you. I too sent my son a breakdown a couple of times. I just don't want you to get your hopes up in getting your money back but I do think it's important to make them aware of what they owe. Oh the distance of miles between us and our d_cs offers so much peace. I'm sorry for the anxiety you are feeling as you prepare to go home. I think you have a really good grasp on what needs to happen in order to detach from your son. I can also relate to the issues between you and your husband. I too went through some rough patches with my husband. My husband was always more willing to continue to give where I was DONE! Our son's drama and chaos was consuming our lives. There was nothing else and it was driving a wedge between us. Something we started to do was to take long drives on the weekends, just head out and explore. We only had one rule, no discussing Difficult Child. This helped us to reconnect. My husband did finally start to see and understand how our son's chaos was having a negative effect on me. It might be helpful to have your husband read the article on detachment. [URL]http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/#axzz3z7s9C3oc[/URL] Stand firm and stick to what is right for you. We are here for you!! I hope you have a safe trip back home. :staystrong::notalone::group-hug: [/QUOTE]
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