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Parent Emeritus
10 Days Since I Kicked him out - so far so good.
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 664390" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Hi I am coming late to your story as I have been hanging out on the SA forum....but I might have a different take on a couple of things. We kicked my son out when he was 18 for good reasons. I of course was very upset and was seeing a therapist at the time. She gave me some interesting and very good advice. She said he will not contact you out of pride because you kicked him out. So you should stay in touch with him... dont invite him to come back but do text him letting him know you care and love him. That was completely opposite what my first inclination was. But I did that and when he got in trouble and arrested he called us. It has been quite a journey since then as he is now 23 and he has been in several rehabs, and homeless etc etc. But now he is in rehab again completely out of choice and he sounds and is acting like he is now for the first time really serious about recovery. (in the past it was desperation because we wouldnt help him unless he was in rehab or it was court ordered).. And our relationship is in a better place than it has been in 10 years. He is calling us to check in and tells us he loves us. He still has a long way to go and who knows what will happen.... but I really believe one thing that has mattered is he knows his mother loves him without a doubt.</p><p></p><p>So yes definitely dont invite him home.... but if you feel ike texting him and checking in then go ahead and do it. Our kids dont think about us like we think about them, they just dont and actually they shouldnt. It is not the way of things.... I see that with my very healthy together college student daughter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 664390, member: 15801"] Hi I am coming late to your story as I have been hanging out on the SA forum....but I might have a different take on a couple of things. We kicked my son out when he was 18 for good reasons. I of course was very upset and was seeing a therapist at the time. She gave me some interesting and very good advice. She said he will not contact you out of pride because you kicked him out. So you should stay in touch with him... dont invite him to come back but do text him letting him know you care and love him. That was completely opposite what my first inclination was. But I did that and when he got in trouble and arrested he called us. It has been quite a journey since then as he is now 23 and he has been in several rehabs, and homeless etc etc. But now he is in rehab again completely out of choice and he sounds and is acting like he is now for the first time really serious about recovery. (in the past it was desperation because we wouldnt help him unless he was in rehab or it was court ordered).. And our relationship is in a better place than it has been in 10 years. He is calling us to check in and tells us he loves us. He still has a long way to go and who knows what will happen.... but I really believe one thing that has mattered is he knows his mother loves him without a doubt. So yes definitely dont invite him home.... but if you feel ike texting him and checking in then go ahead and do it. Our kids dont think about us like we think about them, they just dont and actually they shouldnt. It is not the way of things.... I see that with my very healthy together college student daughter. [/QUOTE]
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