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Substance Abuse
12 step program and Alanon...
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 713727" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>I think that the high failure rate in AA is due to the fact that many of the people who attend the meetings are required to do so through their rehab programs or are court-ordered to do so as part of their probation.</p><p></p><p>AA doesn't work for people who do not really want to change. For those that do, it can be a life saver. My daughter is testament to that. She tried AA many times while in rehab programs and always poo pooed the 12 step program. She didn't like it because it was religious, boring, too many rules, etc.</p><p></p><p>When she finally decided to become sober and work the program, it was a miracle. She became wholly invested in the meetings, got a sponsor, worked through the 12-steps with her sponsor, attended multiple meetings a week, and is now a sponsor for others.</p><p></p><p>Her home group became her social group and provides sober activities. She laughingly told me that she had attended a cook-out with 40 former heroin addicts. I was appalled at the thought until I realized those are the only people who can truly understand her situation and can help encourage her sobriety.</p><p></p><p>When we met last Sunday for a Father's day lunch, she told us that she had been struggling the last two weeks and asked if I had noticed. I told her that I had only noticed that I hadn't heard from her as much. She said that was because she didn't want to worry me that she was struggling so she had turned to her sponsor and friends in her recovery group to help her through the rough patch.</p><p></p><p>That was huge! In the past, I was always the one that she turned to when she was having problems and I had always tried to fix her problems for her. My therapist pointed out how co-dependent that was. Now my daughter has other people in her life that she can turn to and wanted to shield me from worry. I can't even begin to tell you what a big change that is in our relationship.</p><p></p><p>So I am a big believer in AA but it doesn't work unless the addict/substance abuser truly wants to change and is willing to totally embrace the program. Addicts call it surrender . . . to get to the point where they admit what they were doing wasn't working for them and are willing to follow the program.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 713727, member: 1967"] I think that the high failure rate in AA is due to the fact that many of the people who attend the meetings are required to do so through their rehab programs or are court-ordered to do so as part of their probation. AA doesn't work for people who do not really want to change. For those that do, it can be a life saver. My daughter is testament to that. She tried AA many times while in rehab programs and always poo pooed the 12 step program. She didn't like it because it was religious, boring, too many rules, etc. When she finally decided to become sober and work the program, it was a miracle. She became wholly invested in the meetings, got a sponsor, worked through the 12-steps with her sponsor, attended multiple meetings a week, and is now a sponsor for others. Her home group became her social group and provides sober activities. She laughingly told me that she had attended a cook-out with 40 former heroin addicts. I was appalled at the thought until I realized those are the only people who can truly understand her situation and can help encourage her sobriety. When we met last Sunday for a Father's day lunch, she told us that she had been struggling the last two weeks and asked if I had noticed. I told her that I had only noticed that I hadn't heard from her as much. She said that was because she didn't want to worry me that she was struggling so she had turned to her sponsor and friends in her recovery group to help her through the rough patch. That was huge! In the past, I was always the one that she turned to when she was having problems and I had always tried to fix her problems for her. My therapist pointed out how co-dependent that was. Now my daughter has other people in her life that she can turn to and wanted to shield me from worry. I can't even begin to tell you what a big change that is in our relationship. So I am a big believer in AA but it doesn't work unless the addict/substance abuser truly wants to change and is willing to totally embrace the program. Addicts call it surrender . . . to get to the point where they admit what they were doing wasn't working for them and are willing to follow the program. [/QUOTE]
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