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12 y/o Daughter Out of Control
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 502973" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi there, no worries about the length! You did great. Sorry she is having such a rough time and sorry for you too....</p><p></p><p>It really is sad to say this but your story is not uncommon. Kids who have "issues" then really fall apart in grades three thru five when language and social communication demands along with many other developmental issues increase. It does sound like more than adhd is going on. Has she ever had an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation. Her sensitivities may mean her ability to integrate incoming sounds (or sights, touches, tastes, smells) may be not working well. The Occupational Therapist (OT) in a school may have done a sensory profile, do you remember filling one out? If not, it may be like many places where they dont really go looking for it in the schools. It would be well worth the time and effort to seek a private Occupational Therapy evaluation. </p><p></p><p>She can nto be expelled as a child with a suspected disability. You have rights due to the evaluation and potential IEP being developed. They can say she needs a change of placement but that is putting the cart before the horse. The law says she needs to be in the least restrictive environment, so until they actually try supports and accommodations and show that it is not doable, AND you agree with that... then they can't move her. Dont let them tell you different unless they are offering something you are really comfortable with. They need to have done (or if not yet, the need to) an FBA ... a functional behavioral assessment along with all of the other testing. Then they need to develop a behavior program designed to develop skills that are missing. Skills to help her socially and to do her school work. It must be a Positive Behavioral Intervention Plan. (mandated by law) This is along with goals and objectives to teach skills in her IEP.</p><p></p><p>Along with that, many of us have our kids evaluated by a neuropsychologist. You may want to wait to see if you think your school did a good enough job and what they say is helpful. </p><p></p><p>I can tell you that you are not alone in the anger thing! I actually just tonight had such a huge impulse to punch my son back (he did a fake punch at me on his way out and it just made me angry and I would not hit him but that urge to want to do it back/that feeling inside...I didn't like it. In fact he is down stairs saying I am a fu**ing a**hole right at this moment....the rest of the day has been fine but he did the first when transitioning out of the house with his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker and now he just came back and is settling in--I am giving him some space, smile)</p><p></p><p>by the way, he has called every teacher he has INCLUDING THE PRINCIPAL either a b word or an n word or the words he is saying to me now.... He has a brain injury that causes it but still, there are many who do not understand. and it is embarrassing many times. I can really understand the frustration, but I push on each day knowing it is not his responsibility to figure this out... he has to try to some degree, but we have to make the environment positive and supportive for him to do so. HUGS to you, it is wonderful you have taken on her care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 502973, member: 12886"] Hi there, no worries about the length! You did great. Sorry she is having such a rough time and sorry for you too.... It really is sad to say this but your story is not uncommon. Kids who have "issues" then really fall apart in grades three thru five when language and social communication demands along with many other developmental issues increase. It does sound like more than adhd is going on. Has she ever had an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation. Her sensitivities may mean her ability to integrate incoming sounds (or sights, touches, tastes, smells) may be not working well. The Occupational Therapist (OT) in a school may have done a sensory profile, do you remember filling one out? If not, it may be like many places where they dont really go looking for it in the schools. It would be well worth the time and effort to seek a private Occupational Therapy evaluation. She can nto be expelled as a child with a suspected disability. You have rights due to the evaluation and potential IEP being developed. They can say she needs a change of placement but that is putting the cart before the horse. The law says she needs to be in the least restrictive environment, so until they actually try supports and accommodations and show that it is not doable, AND you agree with that... then they can't move her. Dont let them tell you different unless they are offering something you are really comfortable with. They need to have done (or if not yet, the need to) an FBA ... a functional behavioral assessment along with all of the other testing. Then they need to develop a behavior program designed to develop skills that are missing. Skills to help her socially and to do her school work. It must be a Positive Behavioral Intervention Plan. (mandated by law) This is along with goals and objectives to teach skills in her IEP. Along with that, many of us have our kids evaluated by a neuropsychologist. You may want to wait to see if you think your school did a good enough job and what they say is helpful. I can tell you that you are not alone in the anger thing! I actually just tonight had such a huge impulse to punch my son back (he did a fake punch at me on his way out and it just made me angry and I would not hit him but that urge to want to do it back/that feeling inside...I didn't like it. In fact he is down stairs saying I am a fu**ing a**hole right at this moment....the rest of the day has been fine but he did the first when transitioning out of the house with his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker and now he just came back and is settling in--I am giving him some space, smile) by the way, he has called every teacher he has INCLUDING THE PRINCIPAL either a b word or an n word or the words he is saying to me now.... He has a brain injury that causes it but still, there are many who do not understand. and it is embarrassing many times. I can really understand the frustration, but I push on each day knowing it is not his responsibility to figure this out... he has to try to some degree, but we have to make the environment positive and supportive for him to do so. HUGS to you, it is wonderful you have taken on her care. [/QUOTE]
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