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General Parenting
12 y/o Daughter Out of Control
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 503057" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Ok. Not going to quibble too much, however not all children who's birthmothers leave them have attachment issues. It's just not true. It depends on whether or not they have a consistent, loving caregiver, not whether or not bio. mom was there. Yes, they will feel that they were "bad" and wonder w hy she left, once they are old enough to understand. No, they don't all have trouble attaching. This child may or MAY NOT have attachment issues, depending on how much consistent caregiving she had by the poster. </p><p></p><p>Just don't want parents of adopted kids or single fathers to think it is inevitable. And we were also told that Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) or attachment should be considered AFTER everything else has been ruled out, unless it is an obvious issue such as the child having been tossed around for five years. I have adopted six kids (one is no longer with us). The older adopted kids have serious attachment issues. The three who are still with us have secure attachment. </p><p></p><p>It is never a good thing, in a child's mind, to have a parent reject him/her. But that does not necessarily lead to attachment issues. I just wanted to counter that post. I know a lot of lurkers are here. Ok, off the soap box <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 503057, member: 1550"] Ok. Not going to quibble too much, however not all children who's birthmothers leave them have attachment issues. It's just not true. It depends on whether or not they have a consistent, loving caregiver, not whether or not bio. mom was there. Yes, they will feel that they were "bad" and wonder w hy she left, once they are old enough to understand. No, they don't all have trouble attaching. This child may or MAY NOT have attachment issues, depending on how much consistent caregiving she had by the poster. Just don't want parents of adopted kids or single fathers to think it is inevitable. And we were also told that Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) or attachment should be considered AFTER everything else has been ruled out, unless it is an obvious issue such as the child having been tossed around for five years. I have adopted six kids (one is no longer with us). The older adopted kids have serious attachment issues. The three who are still with us have secure attachment. It is never a good thing, in a child's mind, to have a parent reject him/her. But that does not necessarily lead to attachment issues. I just wanted to counter that post. I know a lot of lurkers are here. Ok, off the soap box :) [/QUOTE]
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