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12 y/o Daughter Out of Control
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 503158" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Buddy, no, I agree with you.</p><p></p><p>Just that lately Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) has come up so much I'm afraid that people will think an unstable attachment happens just because a child is adopted or just because there is a divorce. I was just trying to basically reassure the lurkers that this is NOT a fact. </p><p></p><p>TO poster, if your HUSBAND was there consistently for his daughter, that is enough. However, if birthmother was a substance abuser, did she drink alcohol or abuse other drugs while pregnant? If she did, that can cause organic brain damage in any child and it would explain a lot of her behavior. Have you ever had a talk with husband about that? Did birthmother take care of herself during the pregnancy? I was told even smoking cigarettes can cause a smaller child and a higher percentage of learning disabilities. There is a fetal alcohol spectrum...and this is NOT behavioral, it is organic. But it presents as behavioral. </p><p></p><p>Also, as an adoptive mom I know so many grown adopted kids who have met their birthparents and this is unofficial, but the parents swear that their children are more like their birthparent than them, even if they never met them. Heredity is a big deal! Most in our adoptive support group (which does NOT mean anybody outside of this group) feels that nature always trumps nurture, although the nurture is certainly helpful to the child. Again, though, these are just the parents in my particular support group and does not reflect the opinions of any other parents.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 503158, member: 1550"] Buddy, no, I agree with you. Just that lately Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) has come up so much I'm afraid that people will think an unstable attachment happens just because a child is adopted or just because there is a divorce. I was just trying to basically reassure the lurkers that this is NOT a fact. TO poster, if your HUSBAND was there consistently for his daughter, that is enough. However, if birthmother was a substance abuser, did she drink alcohol or abuse other drugs while pregnant? If she did, that can cause organic brain damage in any child and it would explain a lot of her behavior. Have you ever had a talk with husband about that? Did birthmother take care of herself during the pregnancy? I was told even smoking cigarettes can cause a smaller child and a higher percentage of learning disabilities. There is a fetal alcohol spectrum...and this is NOT behavioral, it is organic. But it presents as behavioral. Also, as an adoptive mom I know so many grown adopted kids who have met their birthparents and this is unofficial, but the parents swear that their children are more like their birthparent than them, even if they never met them. Heredity is a big deal! Most in our adoptive support group (which does NOT mean anybody outside of this group) feels that nature always trumps nurture, although the nurture is certainly helpful to the child. Again, though, these are just the parents in my particular support group and does not reflect the opinions of any other parents. [/QUOTE]
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