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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 434745" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Ahhh Sweetie</p><p></p><p>You're far from a failure as a mother. Failure would be a Mom who put herself first and never gave a d*mn from the very beginning, who ignored issues to make her own life easier.......I could go on but you get the idea. You've spent a lifetime trying to help your children. That is not failure. </p><p></p><p>If you anxiety is out of control I suggest seeing a doctor for medications to help you cope with it. It's very difficult to make rational decisions with anxiety sky high, I know trust me. </p><p></p><p>Currently the 22 yr old is a failure at being a son.......that is not your fault. You can't force him to live the way he should live. It's his choice at this point to take what you taught him and use it, regardless of any dxes. Although I'm guessing the autism is making him obsess about his girls now that he's latched onto that though process.</p><p></p><p>The whole "you let me down when I need you most" routine is sheer manipulation because he knows if he can make you feel guilty enough......and make others make you feel guilty enough, you're going to give in. </p><p></p><p>One thing you can tell him is that moving home wouldn't help his case with his girls at all. No room for him, let alone two little girls. Shows he can't stand on his own to support them as well and provide food/shelter/clothing. </p><p></p><p>It's obvious how much you love your son. With adult children usually the best help you can give them is none at all. Life lessons from bad decisions/choices can be some of the best ways to learn.</p><p></p><p>Now call doctor and get that anxiety under control so you'll feel better and be able to cope with difficult child drama better.</p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 434745, member: 84"] Ahhh Sweetie You're far from a failure as a mother. Failure would be a Mom who put herself first and never gave a d*mn from the very beginning, who ignored issues to make her own life easier.......I could go on but you get the idea. You've spent a lifetime trying to help your children. That is not failure. If you anxiety is out of control I suggest seeing a doctor for medications to help you cope with it. It's very difficult to make rational decisions with anxiety sky high, I know trust me. Currently the 22 yr old is a failure at being a son.......that is not your fault. You can't force him to live the way he should live. It's his choice at this point to take what you taught him and use it, regardless of any dxes. Although I'm guessing the autism is making him obsess about his girls now that he's latched onto that though process. The whole "you let me down when I need you most" routine is sheer manipulation because he knows if he can make you feel guilty enough......and make others make you feel guilty enough, you're going to give in. One thing you can tell him is that moving home wouldn't help his case with his girls at all. No room for him, let alone two little girls. Shows he can't stand on his own to support them as well and provide food/shelter/clothing. It's obvious how much you love your son. With adult children usually the best help you can give them is none at all. Life lessons from bad decisions/choices can be some of the best ways to learn. Now call doctor and get that anxiety under control so you'll feel better and be able to cope with difficult child drama better. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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