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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 435968" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>burnt out - </p><p> </p><p>SO do this - just to see and gain strength and see that you do have friends here that would not give you bad advice. OR just for kicks. </p><p> </p><p>You came here and said you needed strength, because your son was being somewhat of a bully about needing to move back in. Right? Right. He said he had NO WHERE else to go. He also stated that (I think) You always turn him away when he needs you the most, and you felt horrible and desperate about NOT allowing him to move back in with you and your two young children who have issues of their own. You also said that your husband almost caved and was willing to allow him to come home to live with you all: I can only imagine that this is because you were so distraught and upset he didn't know what else to do to help you. I would imagine that you have spent a lot of time in the last week crying, and being upset? Possibly in front of your other children?? (just a guess I do not know) You are telling us you are taking calls from him, and are stressed. Always stressed. Upset, don't know what to do. This is understandable. He's 22 years old with children and blames YOU for ruining his life. </p><p> </p><p>OKAY - NOW - here's the part where the pavement hits the road girl..........</p><p> </p><p>Go back and re-read what each of us has told you - and keep in mind-------we have said it with EXPERIENCE, KNOWLEDGE, HOPE, LOVE - and not only YOUR best interest at heart - but YOUR SONS as well. At 22 years old? We've told you things like - He's a man, He should NOT be talking to you disrespectfully, He doesn't need to be living at home disrupting YOUR life, He doesn't need to be making you feel guilty, SHAME on him for doing that, HE will feel BETTER and FEEL WORTH once he's lviing on his own, The only way he'll EVER start doing things for himself is if you STOP doing it for him and it will hurt but you're doing him a favor. - We also said - Stop blaming yourself, Draw boundaries, Hang up the phone, Do not ANSWER the phone, DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO TALK TO YOU IN A MANNER THAT IS DISRESPECTFUL, HE WILL FIGURE IT OUT IF YOU STOP FIGURING IT OUT FOR HIM ......and GET yourself into counseling (or see a doctor ) </p><p> </p><p>And your last post today at almost 9:00 - JUST IS FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And WHO are YOU thanking? LOL - US?????? WHO DID THE WORK??????? Honey - YOU DID THAT!!!!!!!! YOU.....YOU SAID NO......YOU DREW BOUNDARIES!!!! YOU TOLD HIM YOU WOULDN"T ALLOW HIM TO MOVE BACK IN!!!!!! YOU CRIED BUT STOOD FIRM!!!!!!! YOU MADE HIM BE A MAN!!!!!!! YOU MADE HIM FIND A PLACE TO STAY!!!!!! YOU DID ALL THIS ON YOUR OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE STARTING TO NOT TAKE ANY OF HIS BALONEY!!!!!!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL YOU~!!!!!!!!!!! all we did - was made suggestions - and give you support - THAT IS WHAT FRIENDS DO!!!!!!!!!!!! </p><p> </p><p>AND I AM SO SO SO SO SO VERY PROUD OF YOU I COULD JUST DANCE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TA DA FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! (wipes a happy tear) </p><p> </p><p>My last point here - is that ALL that stress, all those tears, all that being upset all that crying got you what?????????? NOTHING........THE END RESULT of standing up like a MOmma bear - and drawing your boundaries and saying OH NO YOU WILL NOT MOVE BACK, OH NO YOU WILL NOT UPSET MY HOUSE YOU MAN OF 22 years old, OH YES I AM YOUR MOTHER AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE GOING TO WORK THIS OUT YOURSELF!!!!!!! HAPPENED anyway - and should have - but without all your stress, anxiety and tears..........save tears for happy moments - just remember that when you are stressed because those two kids at home? Are watching EVERYTHING and how you handle every single situation. EVERY THING. </p><p> </p><p>KUDOS TO YOU BURNT OUT! YOU GETS A COOKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRAVO! </p><p> </p><p>Hugs & LOVE & PEACE IN YOUR HOME!!!!!!!! </p><p>Star</p><p> </p><p>HOORAY FOR BURNT OUT!!!!!!!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 435968, member: 4964"] burnt out - SO do this - just to see and gain strength and see that you do have friends here that would not give you bad advice. OR just for kicks. You came here and said you needed strength, because your son was being somewhat of a bully about needing to move back in. Right? Right. He said he had NO WHERE else to go. He also stated that (I think) You always turn him away when he needs you the most, and you felt horrible and desperate about NOT allowing him to move back in with you and your two young children who have issues of their own. You also said that your husband almost caved and was willing to allow him to come home to live with you all: I can only imagine that this is because you were so distraught and upset he didn't know what else to do to help you. I would imagine that you have spent a lot of time in the last week crying, and being upset? Possibly in front of your other children?? (just a guess I do not know) You are telling us you are taking calls from him, and are stressed. Always stressed. Upset, don't know what to do. This is understandable. He's 22 years old with children and blames YOU for ruining his life. OKAY - NOW - here's the part where the pavement hits the road girl.......... Go back and re-read what each of us has told you - and keep in mind-------we have said it with EXPERIENCE, KNOWLEDGE, HOPE, LOVE - and not only YOUR best interest at heart - but YOUR SONS as well. At 22 years old? We've told you things like - He's a man, He should NOT be talking to you disrespectfully, He doesn't need to be living at home disrupting YOUR life, He doesn't need to be making you feel guilty, SHAME on him for doing that, HE will feel BETTER and FEEL WORTH once he's lviing on his own, The only way he'll EVER start doing things for himself is if you STOP doing it for him and it will hurt but you're doing him a favor. - We also said - Stop blaming yourself, Draw boundaries, Hang up the phone, Do not ANSWER the phone, DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO TALK TO YOU IN A MANNER THAT IS DISRESPECTFUL, HE WILL FIGURE IT OUT IF YOU STOP FIGURING IT OUT FOR HIM ......and GET yourself into counseling (or see a doctor ) And your last post today at almost 9:00 - JUST IS FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And WHO are YOU thanking? LOL - US?????? WHO DID THE WORK??????? Honey - YOU DID THAT!!!!!!!! YOU.....YOU SAID NO......YOU DREW BOUNDARIES!!!! YOU TOLD HIM YOU WOULDN"T ALLOW HIM TO MOVE BACK IN!!!!!! YOU CRIED BUT STOOD FIRM!!!!!!! YOU MADE HIM BE A MAN!!!!!!! YOU MADE HIM FIND A PLACE TO STAY!!!!!! YOU DID ALL THIS ON YOUR OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE STARTING TO NOT TAKE ANY OF HIS BALONEY!!!!!!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL YOU~!!!!!!!!!!! all we did - was made suggestions - and give you support - THAT IS WHAT FRIENDS DO!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I AM SO SO SO SO SO VERY PROUD OF YOU I COULD JUST DANCE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TA DA FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! (wipes a happy tear) My last point here - is that ALL that stress, all those tears, all that being upset all that crying got you what?????????? NOTHING........THE END RESULT of standing up like a MOmma bear - and drawing your boundaries and saying OH NO YOU WILL NOT MOVE BACK, OH NO YOU WILL NOT UPSET MY HOUSE YOU MAN OF 22 years old, OH YES I AM YOUR MOTHER AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE GOING TO WORK THIS OUT YOURSELF!!!!!!! HAPPENED anyway - and should have - but without all your stress, anxiety and tears..........save tears for happy moments - just remember that when you are stressed because those two kids at home? Are watching EVERYTHING and how you handle every single situation. EVERY THING. KUDOS TO YOU BURNT OUT! YOU GETS A COOKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRAVO! Hugs & LOVE & PEACE IN YOUR HOME!!!!!!!! Star HOORAY FOR BURNT OUT!!!!!!!!!! [/QUOTE]
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