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General Parenting
13 year old will NOT abide by house rules...HELP!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Giulia" data-source="post: 520721" data-attributes="member: 14306"><p>Humm, be careful with taking all off. It may end up to a more explosive situation than it is already. </p><p></p><p>Set boundaries, yes, we are ok. </p><p>Like he switches off his phone and you lock it at night. He forages to get it ? Then, closet during X days. Whatever he begs for or not. </p><p></p><p>For the computer, you give him 1 hour/day, and you monitor him with a timer. </p><p>If he wants to increase his computer time, he has to earn it. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Also, you can completely shift the system. Instead of using cell phone and computer to motivate him, move towards something he wishes in his best dreams : new sneakers, a new expensive pair of jeans....</p><p>In this system, you make him earn like 30 stars (or whatever you want) for a new pair of sneakers, 70 for a new pair of expensive jeans.....</p><p>The computer and the cell phone is very likely to enhance the conflict. </p><p></p><p>When he didn't earn, you don't comment at all, you say absolutely nothing. </p><p>When he earnt a star, congratulate him like if he were a World Cup champion. Exaggerate the congratulations. </p><p></p><p>For these kinds of contracts, choose your battles. Avoid at all cost an endless list of chores. </p><p>Choose like 3 chores, among them one chore he likes and does without being begged. </p><p>Then, after he mastered these 3 chores without problem, add 3 more chores. etc etc....</p><p></p><p>Same for school. Start with a very limited number of aims. then, increase. </p><p></p><p></p><p>For his harmless annoying behavior, ignore it. He grumps ? Ignore. He makes peculiar noise, fun for him but annoying for you ? Ignore. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Also, start low, go slow would be our motto here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Giulia, post: 520721, member: 14306"] Humm, be careful with taking all off. It may end up to a more explosive situation than it is already. Set boundaries, yes, we are ok. Like he switches off his phone and you lock it at night. He forages to get it ? Then, closet during X days. Whatever he begs for or not. For the computer, you give him 1 hour/day, and you monitor him with a timer. If he wants to increase his computer time, he has to earn it. Also, you can completely shift the system. Instead of using cell phone and computer to motivate him, move towards something he wishes in his best dreams : new sneakers, a new expensive pair of jeans.... In this system, you make him earn like 30 stars (or whatever you want) for a new pair of sneakers, 70 for a new pair of expensive jeans..... The computer and the cell phone is very likely to enhance the conflict. When he didn't earn, you don't comment at all, you say absolutely nothing. When he earnt a star, congratulate him like if he were a World Cup champion. Exaggerate the congratulations. For these kinds of contracts, choose your battles. Avoid at all cost an endless list of chores. Choose like 3 chores, among them one chore he likes and does without being begged. Then, after he mastered these 3 chores without problem, add 3 more chores. etc etc.... Same for school. Start with a very limited number of aims. then, increase. For his harmless annoying behavior, ignore it. He grumps ? Ignore. He makes peculiar noise, fun for him but annoying for you ? Ignore. Also, start low, go slow would be our motto here. [/QUOTE]
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13 year old will NOT abide by house rules...HELP!!!!
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