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14 Year Old Screaming Profanities At Me
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 758076" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I wrote this before I read the rest of your posts. I will leave it because maybe somebody else will read it: As far as residential treatment goes, if you're in the USA, and the child goes for some underlying health or mental health issue, the school district must pay for their share. But this requires she be on an IEP. I would get an advocate to help you. If you are in the States, I would start on that now. Because your daughter would be vulnerable without an IEP in my view.</p><p></p><p>That's tough that your state's laws tie your hands. It doesn't seem fair that you as the parent bear all of the responsibility (even legal responsibility) without any ability to enforce treatment. I would go to Al Anon, to try to learn skills to enforce boundaries, to cope and to get support. </p><p></p><p>As naive as this may sound, I would do whatever I could to learn how to get control of the situation and curb her power. Other parents, have gone so far as to remove doors, to restrict allowance, to take away electronics including cell phones and computers, etc. The thing is sometimes restricting them makes our lives harder, or impossible, in the short-run. </p><p></p><p>It sounds to me like there are drugs involved. As parents, you would be able to have her tested through the doctor. I would request a multi-panel drug test. </p><p></p><p>Even if she is legally able to refuse treatment, she is not legally able to be a menace and to terrorize the family. I would discuss this with my husband (to be on the same team) and I would decide together what are your limits. </p><p></p><p>I want to put here I agree with everything Susie says. </p><p></p><p>She does not have to stab you to be behaving in a manner that it is against the law. The violent crime against your husband, the stealing, blocking your path, all of these are hostile, aggressive and potentially violent. That said, is there a diagnosis? Is this a mood disorder? Your daughter seems to exhibit self-control when she wants to. She seems manipulative. There may be some choice involved in this. </p><p></p><p>What I am getting at, is that I agree with you. It has to be considered, the effect on your younger child. I don't think you can accept that she terrorize the home, and your youngest child in it. If your younger child is now aping the bigger one, this can't be overlooked. This child needs to be protected. </p><p></p><p>There are behavioral analysts that can come to the house, observe her behavior, observe family interactions, and teach you to implement a plan to help her control her behavior. If it were me I would find the regional children's hospital near me (you can google it on google maps) and call the Child Development Center. There are teams of neuropsychologists, social workers, child psychiatrists who can help you determine what you're dealing with.</p><p></p><p>From what you've posted it's hard to know what's going on. Is this an incipient mental illness? Is it drugs? Has something happened to her that is eating at her, about which she hasn't spoken? </p><p></p><p>Finally, I would post here night and day. In my own experience this kind of situation is not going to resolve easily and quickly. Any solutions come with hard work, lots of trying, and they come slowly. First you need more information to know what you are dealing with. If it were me, I would keep posting. That is what I did. For 5 years. Ultimately I don't think anything here helped me change my situation, but it did help me change me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 758076, member: 18958"] I wrote this before I read the rest of your posts. I will leave it because maybe somebody else will read it: As far as residential treatment goes, if you're in the USA, and the child goes for some underlying health or mental health issue, the school district must pay for their share. But this requires she be on an IEP. I would get an advocate to help you. If you are in the States, I would start on that now. Because your daughter would be vulnerable without an IEP in my view. That's tough that your state's laws tie your hands. It doesn't seem fair that you as the parent bear all of the responsibility (even legal responsibility) without any ability to enforce treatment. I would go to Al Anon, to try to learn skills to enforce boundaries, to cope and to get support. As naive as this may sound, I would do whatever I could to learn how to get control of the situation and curb her power. Other parents, have gone so far as to remove doors, to restrict allowance, to take away electronics including cell phones and computers, etc. The thing is sometimes restricting them makes our lives harder, or impossible, in the short-run. It sounds to me like there are drugs involved. As parents, you would be able to have her tested through the doctor. I would request a multi-panel drug test. Even if she is legally able to refuse treatment, she is not legally able to be a menace and to terrorize the family. I would discuss this with my husband (to be on the same team) and I would decide together what are your limits. I want to put here I agree with everything Susie says. She does not have to stab you to be behaving in a manner that it is against the law. The violent crime against your husband, the stealing, blocking your path, all of these are hostile, aggressive and potentially violent. That said, is there a diagnosis? Is this a mood disorder? Your daughter seems to exhibit self-control when she wants to. She seems manipulative. There may be some choice involved in this. What I am getting at, is that I agree with you. It has to be considered, the effect on your younger child. I don't think you can accept that she terrorize the home, and your youngest child in it. If your younger child is now aping the bigger one, this can't be overlooked. This child needs to be protected. There are behavioral analysts that can come to the house, observe her behavior, observe family interactions, and teach you to implement a plan to help her control her behavior. If it were me I would find the regional children's hospital near me (you can google it on google maps) and call the Child Development Center. There are teams of neuropsychologists, social workers, child psychiatrists who can help you determine what you're dealing with. From what you've posted it's hard to know what's going on. Is this an incipient mental illness? Is it drugs? Has something happened to her that is eating at her, about which she hasn't spoken? Finally, I would post here night and day. In my own experience this kind of situation is not going to resolve easily and quickly. Any solutions come with hard work, lots of trying, and they come slowly. First you need more information to know what you are dealing with. If it were me, I would keep posting. That is what I did. For 5 years. Ultimately I don't think anything here helped me change my situation, but it did help me change me. [/QUOTE]
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