Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
14 Year Old Screaming Profanities At Me
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 758079" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>I'm so sorry you are going through this. </p><p></p><p>My theory, regardless of the "cause" of what's going on our young ones who go so far out of the norm is that they have two basic things happening within them. One, is a lack of a break system. They seem to have nothing that will stop them from stepping over the line, and then stepping further and further over the line. It's that something that has kept us from daring to do anything like they do. The other thing is once they step far enough over that line they learn we really can't do anything about it and it gives them a sense of power. Maybe, most likely, the only thing in their lives where they feel they have power and control, because they know they can't control themselves. This then becomes their go to, instead of any kind of maturing. Just my theory. </p><p></p><p>A couple of possible helpful points:</p><p>1. It seems you might qualify for wrap around services. Considering she has been hospitalized instead of in jail for whatever she was in trouble for. Has the division of Youth and Family services been involved? If so you might qualify for long term inpatient mental health services or a residential treatment facility. You might qualify to have someone come into your home for treatment. You might qualify for her to have a "mentor" who takes her out of the house to spend time with her to try to gain a connection. As far as having insurance that covers long term mental health treatment, I don't know anyone who has that. I could go on about how the insurance companies have taken great advantage of lowering their expenses in the name of the "civil rights" of people with mental illness but I'll just drop that, it's not useful in dealing with the reality of it, it is what it is. </p><p></p><p>2. The psychiatrist who has your daughter on a mood stabilizer. Mood stabilizers are not for ADHD, they are for mood disorders. I would have a meeting with that psychiatrist, without your daughter present, to discuss what his actual diagnosis is. As a minor, bipolar would not be something they could assign, but mood disorder Not Otherwise Specified could. It's obvious the mood stabilizer is not working. It could be she needs an add on medication, or it could be she does not have a mood disorder at all. Considering the medication she is on is not working, considering you stated she has generally been a kind, well liked and caring child in the past I feel I would be looking into a different psychiatrist who might specialize in girls entering puberty with ADHD. This is just a gut feeling on my part. </p><p></p><p>3. Therapy for both you and your husband as far as parenting her is great. But considering your situation, I would suggest individual therapy for your own mental health with someone who knows intimately how it is to deal with an out of control child could be very helpful. What I mean is someone who knows how to help you work through the trauma of being in this majorly out of control situation and keep, find, your grounding. Same for your younger child, therapy with the right person would be very helpful. The right therapist(s) is the key here. </p><p></p><p>I know it's hard to read this stuff. I know the feeling of being so disappointed when looking for a clear, concise road map back to normalcy and sanity only to read way more than you are prepared for. We are here, when you are ready. Wishing the best for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 758079, member: 22840"] I'm so sorry you are going through this. My theory, regardless of the "cause" of what's going on our young ones who go so far out of the norm is that they have two basic things happening within them. One, is a lack of a break system. They seem to have nothing that will stop them from stepping over the line, and then stepping further and further over the line. It's that something that has kept us from daring to do anything like they do. The other thing is once they step far enough over that line they learn we really can't do anything about it and it gives them a sense of power. Maybe, most likely, the only thing in their lives where they feel they have power and control, because they know they can't control themselves. This then becomes their go to, instead of any kind of maturing. Just my theory. A couple of possible helpful points: 1. It seems you might qualify for wrap around services. Considering she has been hospitalized instead of in jail for whatever she was in trouble for. Has the division of Youth and Family services been involved? If so you might qualify for long term inpatient mental health services or a residential treatment facility. You might qualify to have someone come into your home for treatment. You might qualify for her to have a "mentor" who takes her out of the house to spend time with her to try to gain a connection. As far as having insurance that covers long term mental health treatment, I don't know anyone who has that. I could go on about how the insurance companies have taken great advantage of lowering their expenses in the name of the "civil rights" of people with mental illness but I'll just drop that, it's not useful in dealing with the reality of it, it is what it is. 2. The psychiatrist who has your daughter on a mood stabilizer. Mood stabilizers are not for ADHD, they are for mood disorders. I would have a meeting with that psychiatrist, without your daughter present, to discuss what his actual diagnosis is. As a minor, bipolar would not be something they could assign, but mood disorder Not Otherwise Specified could. It's obvious the mood stabilizer is not working. It could be she needs an add on medication, or it could be she does not have a mood disorder at all. Considering the medication she is on is not working, considering you stated she has generally been a kind, well liked and caring child in the past I feel I would be looking into a different psychiatrist who might specialize in girls entering puberty with ADHD. This is just a gut feeling on my part. 3. Therapy for both you and your husband as far as parenting her is great. But considering your situation, I would suggest individual therapy for your own mental health with someone who knows intimately how it is to deal with an out of control child could be very helpful. What I mean is someone who knows how to help you work through the trauma of being in this majorly out of control situation and keep, find, your grounding. Same for your younger child, therapy with the right person would be very helpful. The right therapist(s) is the key here. I know it's hard to read this stuff. I know the feeling of being so disappointed when looking for a clear, concise road map back to normalcy and sanity only to read way more than you are prepared for. We are here, when you are ready. Wishing the best for you. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
14 Year Old Screaming Profanities At Me
Top