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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 157357" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>My difficult child grew up eating out at fancy resturaunts while visiting relatives and going to professional concerts (chamber orchestras, bands, vocals, ect.)</p><p> </p><p>He absolutely hates eating out (even the fun McD's and Burger King places) so has gotten real bad about even that. We usually do take outs for fast food places. </p><p></p><p>He loves concerts and use to stay to the very end but with a 7:30pm start, they get way to late now so either gets picked up or taken home at intermission (we live 5 min away from the concert place so if I need to take him home I can return if someone is home with him.)</p><p> </p><p>Our problem is that while he has in the past done very well, since this last fall when he started having problems, he is getting more and more misbehaved. He will purposely do anything to get us to leave or not go to a resturaunt. (he has admitted to do so) I do believe that he just can not sit still anymore and lights bother him. It is frustrating to watch our boy "loose" his manners.</p><p> </p><p>When my kids were small, I have been known to walk out of a resturaunt before ordering making sure I explain to the waiter that, "I am sorry but my kids can not behave today - I need to get them out of here." (don't want them think I am disappointed in the service or anything.) They then usually get chewed out for such disrespectful behavior (usually fighting).</p><p> </p><p>However, now difficult child does have something going on that is behind this - I think if we do find a seizure disorder it could be the restuarant lights - store lights bother me sometimes. If something is annoying, it is hard to sit still and behave, especially if you can not recognize what is causing the anxiety. Could be a crowded restuarant also (I can't stand crowds myself and my anxiety will increase in a crowd). Lights, sound, customers can make for an overstimulated place for difficult child's.</p><p> </p><p>I do like the idea of short visits - and I think it is o.k. for now to just know that the times you do take him will be spent on teaching him. I also like the idea of someone else taking him out if it is something you really need/want to participate in. For anything that costs a lot of money to attend, it adds to the stress of misbehavior so continue to avoid those for now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 157357, member: 5096"] My difficult child grew up eating out at fancy resturaunts while visiting relatives and going to professional concerts (chamber orchestras, bands, vocals, ect.) He absolutely hates eating out (even the fun McD's and Burger King places) so has gotten real bad about even that. We usually do take outs for fast food places. He loves concerts and use to stay to the very end but with a 7:30pm start, they get way to late now so either gets picked up or taken home at intermission (we live 5 min away from the concert place so if I need to take him home I can return if someone is home with him.) Our problem is that while he has in the past done very well, since this last fall when he started having problems, he is getting more and more misbehaved. He will purposely do anything to get us to leave or not go to a resturaunt. (he has admitted to do so) I do believe that he just can not sit still anymore and lights bother him. It is frustrating to watch our boy "loose" his manners. When my kids were small, I have been known to walk out of a resturaunt before ordering making sure I explain to the waiter that, "I am sorry but my kids can not behave today - I need to get them out of here." (don't want them think I am disappointed in the service or anything.) They then usually get chewed out for such disrespectful behavior (usually fighting). However, now difficult child does have something going on that is behind this - I think if we do find a seizure disorder it could be the restuarant lights - store lights bother me sometimes. If something is annoying, it is hard to sit still and behave, especially if you can not recognize what is causing the anxiety. Could be a crowded restuarant also (I can't stand crowds myself and my anxiety will increase in a crowd). Lights, sound, customers can make for an overstimulated place for difficult child's. I do like the idea of short visits - and I think it is o.k. for now to just know that the times you do take him will be spent on teaching him. I also like the idea of someone else taking him out if it is something you really need/want to participate in. For anything that costs a lot of money to attend, it adds to the stress of misbehavior so continue to avoid those for now. [/QUOTE]
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