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15-year old son crashing and burning - unlurking
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<blockquote data-quote="Frazzledmom" data-source="post: 395468"><p>Yes, I would agree we're very lenient with him. Between the violence and the rages we're pretty trained. I admit, maybe we should have done it all differently but when you're restraining in the middle of the night for two hours at a time it trains you in not so good ways I think. Yes, we did offer to pay him to go to therapy...only because it was the only hope of ever getting him to go and even that didn't work. We feel like it would be his job to go to therapy like it was our job to go to work. It's a slippery slope I know. Punative punishments have never worked with him and if we did take away his skateboard I know he'd leave for sure (after he did MAJOR damage) and it seems like a crazy way to push him out of the house. Ugh...I really don't know. We never give him large sums of money and he receives virtually no allowance. (Ok...here goes....we pay him for his grades and I swear that's the one reason he's been an honor roll student until now.) Right now he has $5 in his bank account. The upside is that he's pretty savy with money. Grounding him would never work, I know that, he'd just leave. We have called the police when he's run away...they don't do anything and in fact, one officer said NOT to call because they couldn't do anything and it just gives difficult child more power. We've done things very differently with him...many, many people have disagreed with us but many professionals and our current therapist have all said we've done it right. It's either worked really well and he could be in a much worse place or we've done it all wrong. Time will tell I guess. I've got to check my signature but he's fifteen and a sophomore. In a small school of less than 200 kids, it's not at all unusual for sophomores to hang around with seniors. Not perfect, but not unusual. Thanks for your comments, they are good for me to read.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Frazzledmom, post: 395468"] Yes, I would agree we're very lenient with him. Between the violence and the rages we're pretty trained. I admit, maybe we should have done it all differently but when you're restraining in the middle of the night for two hours at a time it trains you in not so good ways I think. Yes, we did offer to pay him to go to therapy...only because it was the only hope of ever getting him to go and even that didn't work. We feel like it would be his job to go to therapy like it was our job to go to work. It's a slippery slope I know. Punative punishments have never worked with him and if we did take away his skateboard I know he'd leave for sure (after he did MAJOR damage) and it seems like a crazy way to push him out of the house. Ugh...I really don't know. We never give him large sums of money and he receives virtually no allowance. (Ok...here goes....we pay him for his grades and I swear that's the one reason he's been an honor roll student until now.) Right now he has $5 in his bank account. The upside is that he's pretty savy with money. Grounding him would never work, I know that, he'd just leave. We have called the police when he's run away...they don't do anything and in fact, one officer said NOT to call because they couldn't do anything and it just gives difficult child more power. We've done things very differently with him...many, many people have disagreed with us but many professionals and our current therapist have all said we've done it right. It's either worked really well and he could be in a much worse place or we've done it all wrong. Time will tell I guess. I've got to check my signature but he's fifteen and a sophomore. In a small school of less than 200 kids, it's not at all unusual for sophomores to hang around with seniors. Not perfect, but not unusual. Thanks for your comments, they are good for me to read. [/QUOTE]
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15-year old son crashing and burning - unlurking
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