Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
15-year old son crashing and burning - unlurking
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 395502" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, I think many social workers and therapists are also too lenient and in my opinion it doesn't work with difficult children to do that. I personally would probably go to somebody else if I had been told that. I don't give my kids money to do chores...they just know it's part of being in our family. Even difficult child drug abusing daughter got no money...in fact, because she did drugs and smoked cigarettes, she got NO money from us to help finance her use of things that were bad for her. At 16, she got a job and that helped her work ethic as she got older and stopped using drugs.</p><p>If my daughter had said she wanted to be emancipated at fourteen, after laughing I would have told her to go ahead. Few kids can really financially take care of themselves that young. I refuse to let my kids hold me hostage that way. I don't think my daughter would have ever quit her destructive lifestyle if she had not been taken in hand and given tough love and strong values.</p><p></p><p> She is now twenty-six, off drugs for several years, a non-smoker, and is almost finishing college while also working full time. She bought a house with her long time boyfriend. I don't think she would have strived to do well if we had paid her to do the things that all kids do. It's not that I don't feel for her...I do...but I just think leniency is a bad way to go, especially with kids who have problems. They, more than most k ids, need to know you're in charge and that you will at least try everything to keep them safe from themselves. Again though...jmo.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 395502, member: 1550"] Well, I think many social workers and therapists are also too lenient and in my opinion it doesn't work with difficult children to do that. I personally would probably go to somebody else if I had been told that. I don't give my kids money to do chores...they just know it's part of being in our family. Even difficult child drug abusing daughter got no money...in fact, because she did drugs and smoked cigarettes, she got NO money from us to help finance her use of things that were bad for her. At 16, she got a job and that helped her work ethic as she got older and stopped using drugs. If my daughter had said she wanted to be emancipated at fourteen, after laughing I would have told her to go ahead. Few kids can really financially take care of themselves that young. I refuse to let my kids hold me hostage that way. I don't think my daughter would have ever quit her destructive lifestyle if she had not been taken in hand and given tough love and strong values. She is now twenty-six, off drugs for several years, a non-smoker, and is almost finishing college while also working full time. She bought a house with her long time boyfriend. I don't think she would have strived to do well if we had paid her to do the things that all kids do. It's not that I don't feel for her...I do...but I just think leniency is a bad way to go, especially with kids who have problems. They, more than most k ids, need to know you're in charge and that you will at least try everything to keep them safe from themselves. Again though...jmo. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
15-year old son crashing and burning - unlurking
Top