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15yo no control
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 741383" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Dont let him manipulate you. He is doing this knowingly. What teen doesnt feel sort of badly about himself/herself? Most do. The majority dont act out like your son, refuse school, lie, steal.</p><p></p><p>I swear I was born with depression and anxiety and on top of being a very sad child, my mother hated me my whole life so there was that and I was bullied at school. The bullying got better in high school because I finally got pretty but I had horrible learning disabilities, no help back in the day, was being abused at home and hated myself. I felt stupid, like the only asset I had was being pretty and that this was not enough. More than you can imagine i hated me. I thought I was crazy and had NO family support at all. Did I drink, use drugs, break the law or act out?</p><p></p><p>I decided at 13 never to drink or take drugs. Ever. I had my first major depression by then and could barely smile and I couldnt enjoy anything so I didnt do anything. My anxiety was so bad that I slept with the closet light on and cried every day. My mother refused to get me help, not that there was good help back then.</p><p></p><p>I have a problem with kids who act like maniacs because of depression and anxiety. Almost 10 percent of the population has anxiety and both depression and anxiety are highly treatable. Obviously not if pot is your main form of medication or alcohol, a known depressant. Now I did sass off to my mom because I was a kid then teen trying to defend myself against her abuse but I never stole from her or broke societal rules. I am 65. To this day I have never been drunk. And my depression has been treated successfully. I worked very hard to get to my happy place. It can be done<img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="☺️" title="Smiling face :relaxed:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/263a.png" data-shortname=":relaxed:" /></p><p></p><p>Mental illness, especially treatable ones, is no excuse to break the law or abuse a loved one who is kind to you. You dont even know if he is truly depressed and anxious or just an angry defiant kid. Depression is debilitating if it is really bad. You dont even want to do what you used to love. You have trouble feeling pleasure. Anxiety makes you obviously fearful and certainly not risk seeking. At least that was my experience. Maybe sime can be drpressed and sometimes have fun going out. I could not. Going out scared me.</p><p></p><p>Getting better takes commitment, work on the persons part and compliance with treatment. Not smoking pot and stealing and, although you are kind and feel you are helping your son from real trouble...letting him get away with crime in my opinion sets a bad precedence. He needs to stop before 18. Of course we all have different opinions. I dont think giving second and third chances when a teen does a crime teaches them not to do it...that there are scary consequences. Even getting tough doesnt always work on all kids. But I always thought I had to try. And for me, we were blessed...it worked.</p><p></p><p>Try not to see your son as that sweet little boy. He isnt one anymore. He is nearing legal adulthood and society will hold him accountable as an adult at 18, even if he has a young mind. There are no breaks for that. Young adults serve our country at 18. That age is the magic number where if you break the law, you are an adult, act or think like one or not.</p><p></p><p>Again, this is my opinion only. All opinions are equally valid. Take what resonates with you and do take care of YOU. You matter.</p><p></p><p>One last comment. I was a Stay At Home Mom and could not stop my daughter from drugs. Dont blame yourself or that you worked. Like most drugged kids, she found a difficult group of kids and wanted them to like her. And sheswas as slippery as a snake and managed to do drugs even with me at home. She woukd wait until we slept than got out if she had to wait. This had nothing to do with her family, was not personal. Your son is not like this because of you. It is about peer pressure, which parents can not compete with after a certain age. Sometimes I it is only one peer....a first love who does these things. But many kids stop copying us when they hit high school. Earlier for some.</p><p></p><p>Love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 741383, member: 1550"] Dont let him manipulate you. He is doing this knowingly. What teen doesnt feel sort of badly about himself/herself? Most do. The majority dont act out like your son, refuse school, lie, steal. I swear I was born with depression and anxiety and on top of being a very sad child, my mother hated me my whole life so there was that and I was bullied at school. The bullying got better in high school because I finally got pretty but I had horrible learning disabilities, no help back in the day, was being abused at home and hated myself. I felt stupid, like the only asset I had was being pretty and that this was not enough. More than you can imagine i hated me. I thought I was crazy and had NO family support at all. Did I drink, use drugs, break the law or act out? I decided at 13 never to drink or take drugs. Ever. I had my first major depression by then and could barely smile and I couldnt enjoy anything so I didnt do anything. My anxiety was so bad that I slept with the closet light on and cried every day. My mother refused to get me help, not that there was good help back then. I have a problem with kids who act like maniacs because of depression and anxiety. Almost 10 percent of the population has anxiety and both depression and anxiety are highly treatable. Obviously not if pot is your main form of medication or alcohol, a known depressant. Now I did sass off to my mom because I was a kid then teen trying to defend myself against her abuse but I never stole from her or broke societal rules. I am 65. To this day I have never been drunk. And my depression has been treated successfully. I worked very hard to get to my happy place. It can be done☺️ Mental illness, especially treatable ones, is no excuse to break the law or abuse a loved one who is kind to you. You dont even know if he is truly depressed and anxious or just an angry defiant kid. Depression is debilitating if it is really bad. You dont even want to do what you used to love. You have trouble feeling pleasure. Anxiety makes you obviously fearful and certainly not risk seeking. At least that was my experience. Maybe sime can be drpressed and sometimes have fun going out. I could not. Going out scared me. Getting better takes commitment, work on the persons part and compliance with treatment. Not smoking pot and stealing and, although you are kind and feel you are helping your son from real trouble...letting him get away with crime in my opinion sets a bad precedence. He needs to stop before 18. Of course we all have different opinions. I dont think giving second and third chances when a teen does a crime teaches them not to do it...that there are scary consequences. Even getting tough doesnt always work on all kids. But I always thought I had to try. And for me, we were blessed...it worked. Try not to see your son as that sweet little boy. He isnt one anymore. He is nearing legal adulthood and society will hold him accountable as an adult at 18, even if he has a young mind. There are no breaks for that. Young adults serve our country at 18. That age is the magic number where if you break the law, you are an adult, act or think like one or not. Again, this is my opinion only. All opinions are equally valid. Take what resonates with you and do take care of YOU. You matter. One last comment. I was a Stay At Home Mom and could not stop my daughter from drugs. Dont blame yourself or that you worked. Like most drugged kids, she found a difficult group of kids and wanted them to like her. And sheswas as slippery as a snake and managed to do drugs even with me at home. She woukd wait until we slept than got out if she had to wait. This had nothing to do with her family, was not personal. Your son is not like this because of you. It is about peer pressure, which parents can not compete with after a certain age. Sometimes I it is only one peer....a first love who does these things. But many kids stop copying us when they hit high school. Earlier for some. Love and light! [/QUOTE]
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