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General Parenting
15yo no control
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 741385" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>This is a tough decision with no one right answer but if I had to do it over again I would probably involve the law more at this stage. Because it gets so much worse once they are 18. They need to understand that and get on the right road before they have adult consequences. But It’s hard to predict outcomes. Sometimes scared straight tactics work. Sometimes it only makes them madder and more defiant. Do you feel like the case worker and judicial system where you are are generally supportive and on your side as a concerned parent? Then maybe lean on them more. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Please dont go there. Most of us had to work. I had to work full time. We needed the money. It wasn’t a choice. I worked a demanding job out of the house at that time. Once they aged out of after school care, there were no good options. I always felt like it was worse having them home along at that age than it would have been at 8 or 9 in some ways! We all do what we have to do for our families, and for most of us that means working. I freelance from home now, and sometimes I entertain the thought that it would have been better if I’d been doing the back then. But there is no guarantee it would have been. As someone pointed out above, they will find a way if that’s what they want. </p><p></p><p>Does he have a vision for what he wants for himself as an adult? Does he want to go to college or learn a trade? Does he dream of living independently with his own apartment and money? What motivates him?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 741385, member: 23349"] This is a tough decision with no one right answer but if I had to do it over again I would probably involve the law more at this stage. Because it gets so much worse once they are 18. They need to understand that and get on the right road before they have adult consequences. But It’s hard to predict outcomes. Sometimes scared straight tactics work. Sometimes it only makes them madder and more defiant. Do you feel like the case worker and judicial system where you are are generally supportive and on your side as a concerned parent? Then maybe lean on them more. Please dont go there. Most of us had to work. I had to work full time. We needed the money. It wasn’t a choice. I worked a demanding job out of the house at that time. Once they aged out of after school care, there were no good options. I always felt like it was worse having them home along at that age than it would have been at 8 or 9 in some ways! We all do what we have to do for our families, and for most of us that means working. I freelance from home now, and sometimes I entertain the thought that it would have been better if I’d been doing the back then. But there is no guarantee it would have been. As someone pointed out above, they will find a way if that’s what they want. Does he have a vision for what he wants for himself as an adult? Does he want to go to college or learn a trade? Does he dream of living independently with his own apartment and money? What motivates him? [/QUOTE]
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