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Substance Abuse
16 year old son absolutely out of control
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 489209"><p>Oh boy...</p><p></p><p>No real advice here... You've got a lot going on and I think you are going to have to put out the immediate fires before you can battle the rest. </p><p></p><p>I know how badly you want your son back. I want my son back too. I feel your pain and I am getting teary just typing this. I mean this nicely-put that out of your head. The son that you want back doesn't exist. That doesn't mean you won't find him again, but it's a long way off. The sooner you realize that, the easier it is to detach a bit. You need to do what is best for your "out of control imposter son" things that are hard to do if you have your beloved boy in mind.</p><p></p><p>Put a deadbolt on your bedroom door and a "club" on the steering wheel of the car. Change the locks in the house-don't give him a key. Consider installing an alarm. I'm not suggesting you kick him out-just take security measures so you can take some control of his comings and goings and feel safe. We took away our 19 yo's key. After a certain time, the door is locked and he can't come in. The alarm is on when we're not here, he doesn't have the code. We feel secure. </p><p></p><p>Call his regular dr for suggestions. They are a good first resource. Talk to the school social worker, throw yourself at their mercy, beg for help. Again a good resource. in my opinion, lots of parents "check out" when their kids are "bad" and schools don't assume parents want help. Talk to the police, see if they can help. </p><p>Tell them he is out of control and you need court ordered treatment for him. They may be able to charge him w the past incidents. If they do- you need a plan of treatment ready to go. So do your research first. In the meantime, keep your cell phone handy & if he threatens you or takes the car-call the police. </p><p></p><p>I think it's pretty certain that your son is abusing serious drugs-not "just" pot. Why he's doing it doesn't matter for now so don't beat yourself up. Take the steps to regain control of your home while doing your best to get him help. I am so sorry you are going thru this {{{{hugs}}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 489209"] Oh boy... No real advice here... You've got a lot going on and I think you are going to have to put out the immediate fires before you can battle the rest. I know how badly you want your son back. I want my son back too. I feel your pain and I am getting teary just typing this. I mean this nicely-put that out of your head. The son that you want back doesn't exist. That doesn't mean you won't find him again, but it's a long way off. The sooner you realize that, the easier it is to detach a bit. You need to do what is best for your "out of control imposter son" things that are hard to do if you have your beloved boy in mind. Put a deadbolt on your bedroom door and a "club" on the steering wheel of the car. Change the locks in the house-don't give him a key. Consider installing an alarm. I'm not suggesting you kick him out-just take security measures so you can take some control of his comings and goings and feel safe. We took away our 19 yo's key. After a certain time, the door is locked and he can't come in. The alarm is on when we're not here, he doesn't have the code. We feel secure. Call his regular dr for suggestions. They are a good first resource. Talk to the school social worker, throw yourself at their mercy, beg for help. Again a good resource. in my opinion, lots of parents "check out" when their kids are "bad" and schools don't assume parents want help. Talk to the police, see if they can help. Tell them he is out of control and you need court ordered treatment for him. They may be able to charge him w the past incidents. If they do- you need a plan of treatment ready to go. So do your research first. In the meantime, keep your cell phone handy & if he threatens you or takes the car-call the police. I think it's pretty certain that your son is abusing serious drugs-not "just" pot. Why he's doing it doesn't matter for now so don't beat yourself up. Take the steps to regain control of your home while doing your best to get him help. I am so sorry you are going thru this {{{{hugs}}}} [/QUOTE]
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16 year old son absolutely out of control
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