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General Parenting
16 Year Old Son Imploding
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<blockquote data-quote="Baggy Bags" data-source="post: 729147" data-attributes="member: 22819"><p>Oh man, UN40, I'm right there with you. My son is 15 and our stories are very similar, except that we don't have other children, and I can understand how that makes a world of difference. I'm so sorry for what you're going through.</p><p></p><p>Besides the advice that's already been given, I'll just add that, like your wife, my husband and my mother are several stages of acceptance behind me. I remember when I used to think like your wife - waiting for my son to "wake up" and want our old life back. There might be a little of that left in me, but for the most part, it is gone. It's hard to watch them still struggling to accept what's happening, and that our child may not ever come back to us the way he used to be. Keep talking to her, help her get past the denial, guilt, shame... or whatever feelings she's having that are stopping her from being objective in the decision-making.</p><p></p><p>I hope you find a way to not have to live in separate houses, but unless she agrees to sending him to a home, or your son agrees to medications and therapy, it looks inevitable. I'm so, so sorry.</p><p></p><p>How is your son getting the money to do stuff like go to California? I would definitely cut off any kind of allowance or permission to have a job. Not having money will be an obstacle to some of his behaviors.</p><p></p><p>Stay safe and strong. We're here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Baggy Bags, post: 729147, member: 22819"] Oh man, UN40, I'm right there with you. My son is 15 and our stories are very similar, except that we don't have other children, and I can understand how that makes a world of difference. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Besides the advice that's already been given, I'll just add that, like your wife, my husband and my mother are several stages of acceptance behind me. I remember when I used to think like your wife - waiting for my son to "wake up" and want our old life back. There might be a little of that left in me, but for the most part, it is gone. It's hard to watch them still struggling to accept what's happening, and that our child may not ever come back to us the way he used to be. Keep talking to her, help her get past the denial, guilt, shame... or whatever feelings she's having that are stopping her from being objective in the decision-making. I hope you find a way to not have to live in separate houses, but unless she agrees to sending him to a home, or your son agrees to medications and therapy, it looks inevitable. I'm so, so sorry. How is your son getting the money to do stuff like go to California? I would definitely cut off any kind of allowance or permission to have a job. Not having money will be an obstacle to some of his behaviors. Stay safe and strong. We're here for you. [/QUOTE]
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