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16 Year old son is having multiple issues
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<blockquote data-quote="ARJ" data-source="post: 718918" data-attributes="member: 22239"><p>I wanted to update my initial posting. </p><p>It has been 2.5 weeks since this woman completely turned my son's and our lives into termoil. It's been a very tough couple of weeks without barely sleeping and with a stress level I haven't had to deal with in a long time. However, what began as me feeling hopelessness about my son wanting to quit school, be emancipated(which no judge would ever have agreed to) and quiting football (all new feeling imbedded in him from her) has been turning slowly.</p><p>What began as being unable to get him to go to school or skipping multiple classes each day has been slowly turning back into full days and a plan for his education. Obviously mine and most fathers of sons dream of a son receiving a sport scholarship had to be put aside and may never be revisited. But that's ok! What's most important is what he's wanting from his life and to know how important his education is in this day and age. </p><p>So we have come up with alternative plans. This is all very new and it will still be a long road but he seems to be more relaxed with his day to day. We have given him other options to his education. He seems to be very open to being at the tech campus at our local college next year, junior year. He seems to accept that his grades need to be good as well as his attendance in order to attend. So last week was the first week of this school year he actually went to every class and did not skip. To me this is a huge step in his recovery.</p><p> He was and still probably is very, very upset with me for "lying" to him to get him to open up about his relationship with a 30 year old woman. I understand his frustration but I have to stick with my decision and hope he understands later in life that I had no ther choice. And I could not have lived with myself if something more terrible had happen if I hadn't gotten this "woman" away from him. </p><p>As I told him in the beginning, this was beyond sexual exploration. This woman had turned his entire thought process upside down. So there was no way I would let it have continued and she was not letting go so I had to put her in check. Unfortunately she was so twisted that she couldn't see the warning signs of her relationship with him coming to a crashing halt. So, no this was not just a sexual experience. It was total manipulation of a child for her own sick pleasure and ill psychological needs.</p><p>She was released from custody on bond last Thursday. So I'm sure there are many feeling going though his head about her right now. But with our restraining order and her bond restrictions she will be unable to contact him. Or she's back in jail with out a bond for the remainder of her trial. </p><p>He has still a long road ahead of him being he has gotten a life time of hurt at such a young age all caused by this "woman". My hope is she is able to realize what she has done and the pain she has caused not just my son but many others including her young child. If she hasn't learned anything from her time in jail. As well as the massive amount of charges that are still piling up she will never learn and we will do what needs to be done again if she so much as contacts him through a 3rd party. He needs to be rid of her and start rebuilding and salvaging the remaining teen years.</p><p>As I said the plans of him going to tech school rather than fighting for a football scholarship are still very new and might not stick. But with continuing to see if he will accept more therapy to talk things through I am hopeful he will see that he is someone special and has potential to be great. He doesn't have to be a football star.. just my son. </p><p>I was told by his current therapist that we can not force him at his age to talk about this. It is something he needs to want. So I will be offering my support and therapy to him with the hopes he will take it.</p><p></p><p>He is such a nice young man when not being manipulated by someone much older than he. </p><p>Thank you for everyone's words and knowledge.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ARJ, post: 718918, member: 22239"] I wanted to update my initial posting. It has been 2.5 weeks since this woman completely turned my son's and our lives into termoil. It's been a very tough couple of weeks without barely sleeping and with a stress level I haven't had to deal with in a long time. However, what began as me feeling hopelessness about my son wanting to quit school, be emancipated(which no judge would ever have agreed to) and quiting football (all new feeling imbedded in him from her) has been turning slowly. What began as being unable to get him to go to school or skipping multiple classes each day has been slowly turning back into full days and a plan for his education. Obviously mine and most fathers of sons dream of a son receiving a sport scholarship had to be put aside and may never be revisited. But that's ok! What's most important is what he's wanting from his life and to know how important his education is in this day and age. So we have come up with alternative plans. This is all very new and it will still be a long road but he seems to be more relaxed with his day to day. We have given him other options to his education. He seems to be very open to being at the tech campus at our local college next year, junior year. He seems to accept that his grades need to be good as well as his attendance in order to attend. So last week was the first week of this school year he actually went to every class and did not skip. To me this is a huge step in his recovery. He was and still probably is very, very upset with me for "lying" to him to get him to open up about his relationship with a 30 year old woman. I understand his frustration but I have to stick with my decision and hope he understands later in life that I had no ther choice. And I could not have lived with myself if something more terrible had happen if I hadn't gotten this "woman" away from him. As I told him in the beginning, this was beyond sexual exploration. This woman had turned his entire thought process upside down. So there was no way I would let it have continued and she was not letting go so I had to put her in check. Unfortunately she was so twisted that she couldn't see the warning signs of her relationship with him coming to a crashing halt. So, no this was not just a sexual experience. It was total manipulation of a child for her own sick pleasure and ill psychological needs. She was released from custody on bond last Thursday. So I'm sure there are many feeling going though his head about her right now. But with our restraining order and her bond restrictions she will be unable to contact him. Or she's back in jail with out a bond for the remainder of her trial. He has still a long road ahead of him being he has gotten a life time of hurt at such a young age all caused by this "woman". My hope is she is able to realize what she has done and the pain she has caused not just my son but many others including her young child. If she hasn't learned anything from her time in jail. As well as the massive amount of charges that are still piling up she will never learn and we will do what needs to be done again if she so much as contacts him through a 3rd party. He needs to be rid of her and start rebuilding and salvaging the remaining teen years. As I said the plans of him going to tech school rather than fighting for a football scholarship are still very new and might not stick. But with continuing to see if he will accept more therapy to talk things through I am hopeful he will see that he is someone special and has potential to be great. He doesn't have to be a football star.. just my son. I was told by his current therapist that we can not force him at his age to talk about this. It is something he needs to want. So I will be offering my support and therapy to him with the hopes he will take it. He is such a nice young man when not being manipulated by someone much older than he. Thank you for everyone's words and knowledge. [/QUOTE]
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