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Substance Abuse
17 yr old son doing drugs, hanging w members of a gang in NY
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 675410" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Is he interested in the London program?</p><p></p><p>Think about it: how much control do you have over him now? How much have you been able to protect him?</p><p></p><p>Emancipating could be a disaster. Not emancipating could be a disaster. It is up to him. Maybe if he knows he is autonomous he will try harder. He will be more invested. He will believe you trust him and believe him and want to support him.</p><p></p><p>There is a concept in psychology called, paradox, I think. It is based upon martial arts. The therapist gives in to the patient. Gives him the power. And gets out of the way. It seems to make all of the difference, in many cases.</p><p></p><p>If you look at the situation now, he already has full power to do anything he wants. You have not successfully stopped him from doing one thing. If you are like the rest of us, you have not gotten him to do anything either.</p><p></p><p>If he emancipates, he will have both control...<em>and responsibility</em>. You would be out of it. He could turn to you for counsel and support. That is what has restored my own relationship with my son to some extent. I completely got out of the way. When I did, he began asking me for counsel. Seeking me out for advice. Wanting to talk things through with me. Asking me what was right or wrong. </p><p></p><p>I do not want to exaggerate this. There is not a conversion, yet. But it is better.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 675410, member: 18958"] Is he interested in the London program? Think about it: how much control do you have over him now? How much have you been able to protect him? Emancipating could be a disaster. Not emancipating could be a disaster. It is up to him. Maybe if he knows he is autonomous he will try harder. He will be more invested. He will believe you trust him and believe him and want to support him. There is a concept in psychology called, paradox, I think. It is based upon martial arts. The therapist gives in to the patient. Gives him the power. And gets out of the way. It seems to make all of the difference, in many cases. If you look at the situation now, he already has full power to do anything he wants. You have not successfully stopped him from doing one thing. If you are like the rest of us, you have not gotten him to do anything either. If he emancipates, he will have both control...[I]and responsibility[/I]. You would be out of it. He could turn to you for counsel and support. That is what has restored my own relationship with my son to some extent. I completely got out of the way. When I did, he began asking me for counsel. Seeking me out for advice. Wanting to talk things through with me. Asking me what was right or wrong. I do not want to exaggerate this. There is not a conversion, yet. But it is better. COPA [/QUOTE]
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17 yr old son doing drugs, hanging w members of a gang in NY
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