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17 yr old
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<blockquote data-quote="AmericanGirl" data-source="post: 367413"><p>Thanks for all of you for sharing your wisdom.</p><p></p><p>Susiestar, he has been evaluated for conditions several times by different professionals over the years. The only thing has been a mild case of ADHD. </p><p></p><p>Here's what I have done:</p><p></p><p>1. Stripped his room of all but the most basic essentials. Bed, lamp, chair, a handful of outfits, a pair of shoes.</p><p>2. Given him a daily list of chores to complete. If he doesn't complete the chores correctly and/or is rude to me - I will randomly gather things removed from his room and immediately donate them to charity. (Love the idea about pawning items. That will be my next step after the clothes go to charity.) If he completes the chores, then he may watch tv in the living room that night.</p><p>3. Taken car keys, ipod, cell phone, xbox. All are locked up. Going to take him off insurance on Tuesday when they are back.</p><p>4. Locked up all access to computers and secured my wallet.</p><p>5. Had very little interaction with him.</p><p>6. Cancelled plans for a weekend trip with family as I do not want to be in a situation where he can abuse/control me (or attempt to) in public. Made plans for me to get out locally over the weekend without him.</p><p>7. Had him call and ask the family with whom he threatens to move out and live with whether he can do so. All refused and told him to work it out with me.</p><p>8. Offered him therapy with therapist of his choice. Gave him phone number of 24 hour counselors if he wanted to talk with them.</p><p>9. Told him if I see his underwear poking out from his shorts/pants, one more time that I will immediately discard all of his boxers and buy him one package of "tighty whiteys". (Let's see how much fun it is to have those show...)</p><p></p><p>Here is what he is doing:</p><p></p><p>1. Got up this morning and yesterday at 6am and started his chore list. Completed items far better than he seemed to be able to do only a few days ago.</p><p>2. Been polite. Keeps saying "I love you". (I know it is only for his benefit.)</p><p>3. Written me an apology for his behavior in the hospital (again, I know this is for his benefit.)</p><p>4. Laid in his bed most of the time he isn't doing chores.</p><p></p><p>I plan to:</p><p></p><p>1. Hold firm. </p><p>2. Do exactly as I told him I would do.</p><p>3. Not be swayed by emotions or apologies.</p><p>4. Rework the basement (currently his xbox/hangout area) into a space for my crafts/yoga.</p><p>5. Spend more time taking care of my needs and wants.</p><p></p><p>Can you tell I've been reading this board a lot? You guys are amazing!</p><p></p><p>Anything I've missed? I want this to work.</p><p></p><p>THANK YOU!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AmericanGirl, post: 367413"] Thanks for all of you for sharing your wisdom. Susiestar, he has been evaluated for conditions several times by different professionals over the years. The only thing has been a mild case of ADHD. Here's what I have done: 1. Stripped his room of all but the most basic essentials. Bed, lamp, chair, a handful of outfits, a pair of shoes. 2. Given him a daily list of chores to complete. If he doesn't complete the chores correctly and/or is rude to me - I will randomly gather things removed from his room and immediately donate them to charity. (Love the idea about pawning items. That will be my next step after the clothes go to charity.) If he completes the chores, then he may watch tv in the living room that night. 3. Taken car keys, ipod, cell phone, xbox. All are locked up. Going to take him off insurance on Tuesday when they are back. 4. Locked up all access to computers and secured my wallet. 5. Had very little interaction with him. 6. Cancelled plans for a weekend trip with family as I do not want to be in a situation where he can abuse/control me (or attempt to) in public. Made plans for me to get out locally over the weekend without him. 7. Had him call and ask the family with whom he threatens to move out and live with whether he can do so. All refused and told him to work it out with me. 8. Offered him therapy with therapist of his choice. Gave him phone number of 24 hour counselors if he wanted to talk with them. 9. Told him if I see his underwear poking out from his shorts/pants, one more time that I will immediately discard all of his boxers and buy him one package of "tighty whiteys". (Let's see how much fun it is to have those show...) Here is what he is doing: 1. Got up this morning and yesterday at 6am and started his chore list. Completed items far better than he seemed to be able to do only a few days ago. 2. Been polite. Keeps saying "I love you". (I know it is only for his benefit.) 3. Written me an apology for his behavior in the hospital (again, I know this is for his benefit.) 4. Laid in his bed most of the time he isn't doing chores. I plan to: 1. Hold firm. 2. Do exactly as I told him I would do. 3. Not be swayed by emotions or apologies. 4. Rework the basement (currently his xbox/hangout area) into a space for my crafts/yoga. 5. Spend more time taking care of my needs and wants. Can you tell I've been reading this board a lot? You guys are amazing! Anything I've missed? I want this to work. THANK YOU! [/QUOTE]
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