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Substance Abuse
18 Yr Old Son Daily Pot smoker doesn't want to stop
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 599791" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>It's true that you don't know if he'll be a life long user or just a typical teen experimenting, but there is a family history there. It certainly doesn't help that it's so accepted and prevalent now, and college away from home is almost a license to party excessively.</p><p>The only thing I'd suggest is letting him feel the consequences of his poor choices...don't run in and save him. If you are paying for school, if he fails, he must repay you. He'll never learn to act as an adult if he isn't given adult consequences. You're definitely on the right track - I don't think you're overreacting.</p><p>When our son was on his path twd. self destruction and drug abuse in high school, we sought a psychiatrist that was recommended by the school. He was excellent, but I asked him the same questions about my son, who was always a diligent student, etc. I didn't want him to have a record, or to not be accepted to his school of choice, etc., and the dr. said we had to do something very hard: to lay out our rules, stick by them, and wait for him to make his decisions and choices. If those choices were bad (they were very bad), he had to face the consequences and lose freedom, esteem, good friends, job, girlfriend, family connections, etc. until what he lost was worth more than the drugs. With therapy and time, he seemed to have turned a corner, but who knows? He's a world class manipulator and frequent embellisher/liar, and that didn't change, even after he stopped using drugs. You are so right when you say the only person you can change is you. </p><p>You may want to join a group like Families Anonymous to hear others' perspectives, also. It can be very helpful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 599791, member: 13882"] It's true that you don't know if he'll be a life long user or just a typical teen experimenting, but there is a family history there. It certainly doesn't help that it's so accepted and prevalent now, and college away from home is almost a license to party excessively. The only thing I'd suggest is letting him feel the consequences of his poor choices...don't run in and save him. If you are paying for school, if he fails, he must repay you. He'll never learn to act as an adult if he isn't given adult consequences. You're definitely on the right track - I don't think you're overreacting. When our son was on his path twd. self destruction and drug abuse in high school, we sought a psychiatrist that was recommended by the school. He was excellent, but I asked him the same questions about my son, who was always a diligent student, etc. I didn't want him to have a record, or to not be accepted to his school of choice, etc., and the dr. said we had to do something very hard: to lay out our rules, stick by them, and wait for him to make his decisions and choices. If those choices were bad (they were very bad), he had to face the consequences and lose freedom, esteem, good friends, job, girlfriend, family connections, etc. until what he lost was worth more than the drugs. With therapy and time, he seemed to have turned a corner, but who knows? He's a world class manipulator and frequent embellisher/liar, and that didn't change, even after he stopped using drugs. You are so right when you say the only person you can change is you. You may want to join a group like Families Anonymous to hear others' perspectives, also. It can be very helpful. [/QUOTE]
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18 Yr Old Son Daily Pot smoker doesn't want to stop
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