This diagnosis IS on the autism spectrum. Which would explain some things, like not letting go of an issue easily.
If you're anything like my hubby... the cycle goes something like this: kid ramps up, hubby ramps up, kid ramps up more, hubby ramps up more, and so it goes until either there is a major confrontation, OR I happen to walk in at the right time and throw wet blankets on two fires. It's so hard not to take their anger personally. And hard not to get mad when they won't "listen to sense"... of course, "sense" = you, right? (been there done that, both sides of the table) It's really hard for us to see it from THEIR side of the table.