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Substance Abuse
19 yr old and marijuana use
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 741946" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Except for "He said I just don't want to be a part of this family anymore" this sounds like I could have written it. My son was 17 when the trouble began. He's our only child and his dad and I are together - dad is even a quasi-cop...a prison guard turned case manager, so in the same basic field. He did graduate high school, but spent a year at college getting stoned in the dorm and begging for money. He stole from us while working and while getting an allowance! He hung around with horrible "friends". He would quit or just not work. Eventually, at 19, we put him out of our home. </p><p></p><p>After many dramas, including a fire and moving back in with us briefly, he took what money he had saved for a new apartment and went to Colorado to be homeless in the land of legal weed. BUT - he wasn't homeless long. He met a really nice girl, moved in with her, found work, and at this point, two years later, he has a fiancée, an apartment, a job (his 3rd...but 3 in two years is way better than how he was).</p><p></p><p>Yes, he is still smoking pot. I don't like it, but where he is at least he won't get arrested. </p><p></p><p>Your son is still very young. There is hope he will get himself together. But, he is also a grown man and you have no power over him. The best you can do is accept that this is where he is right now. Leave the door open, but don't enable and don't assist or approve. You are NOT a failure as a parent. You have three other capable adult kids to prove that you are not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 741946, member: 17309"] Except for "He said I just don't want to be a part of this family anymore" this sounds like I could have written it. My son was 17 when the trouble began. He's our only child and his dad and I are together - dad is even a quasi-cop...a prison guard turned case manager, so in the same basic field. He did graduate high school, but spent a year at college getting stoned in the dorm and begging for money. He stole from us while working and while getting an allowance! He hung around with horrible "friends". He would quit or just not work. Eventually, at 19, we put him out of our home. After many dramas, including a fire and moving back in with us briefly, he took what money he had saved for a new apartment and went to Colorado to be homeless in the land of legal weed. BUT - he wasn't homeless long. He met a really nice girl, moved in with her, found work, and at this point, two years later, he has a fiancée, an apartment, a job (his 3rd...but 3 in two years is way better than how he was). Yes, he is still smoking pot. I don't like it, but where he is at least he won't get arrested. Your son is still very young. There is hope he will get himself together. But, he is also a grown man and you have no power over him. The best you can do is accept that this is where he is right now. Leave the door open, but don't enable and don't assist or approve. You are NOT a failure as a parent. You have three other capable adult kids to prove that you are not. [/QUOTE]
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