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20 year old daughter and newborn baby kicked out
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 668359" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Has s he gone to court to discuss custody of the baby? Until she does, the boyfriend can run off across the country and hide the baby from her and it may be legal. I know that married couples can not legally "Kidnap" kids. If a father takes a child from his wife, it is not kidnapping. I don't know about unmarried couples.</p><p></p><p>I do not think you are obligated to let your daughter live with you, but, if it were me, I'd definitely want that newborn in safe hands and would probably call CPS to at least explain the situation and have them check in on this boyfriend to make sure the baby is being cared for properly. I can only imagine how helpless you feel and I understand why you don't want to kowtow to a daughter who has been so abusive to you and still is. If she does stay with you, baby or not baby, you are allowed to set strict rules in your own home and one rule can be, "If you talk abusively to me, you will have to leave." You deserve respect for helping her. Heck, you are her mother and a human being who loves her. If she can't respect you, I would not blame you for making her leave.</p><p></p><p>Never let this boyfriend live with you again. I don't feel, in my opinion, that it's ever a good idea to let a boyfriend live with us, the parents, in our home. They aren't family and this is OUR home, our sanctuary, our rules, our safe place. Even if daughter begs and pleads, I would not allow it, if it were my daughter. It's too bad they had a baby considering they can't seem to support themselves, but it's done. Now in my opinion the baby is the important one. You are limited in what you can do, but you can always try. Isf you feel the baby is unsafe, act on it. If YOU want custody, get a lawyer and try. Grandparents are at a disadvantage until the adult kids are clearly unfit per a judge. But some people here DID get custody of grandchildren. There is also foster care, if you feel unable to take care of a baby. Both your daughter and her boyfriend don't seem ready to parent and I'm guessing the boyfriend may be a domestic abuser or a potential one. Scary. That type of control freaking is a big red flag for abuse. Daughter needs to stand up for herself. If she is afraid of him there are domestic abuse shelters where she AND her baby can live while they get help from the services offered. She is a mother now. Hopefully she will step up.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart. I am very sorry this is going on and am puzzled at your daughter's behavior AND her boyfriend's. Does he have another girlfriend he doesn't want her to see? It smells fishy to me and I think s he should probably take the baby and find a place to live (probably be best if not with you). Does she work? Did she graduate from high school? Are drugs in the picture?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 668359, member: 1550"] Has s he gone to court to discuss custody of the baby? Until she does, the boyfriend can run off across the country and hide the baby from her and it may be legal. I know that married couples can not legally "Kidnap" kids. If a father takes a child from his wife, it is not kidnapping. I don't know about unmarried couples. I do not think you are obligated to let your daughter live with you, but, if it were me, I'd definitely want that newborn in safe hands and would probably call CPS to at least explain the situation and have them check in on this boyfriend to make sure the baby is being cared for properly. I can only imagine how helpless you feel and I understand why you don't want to kowtow to a daughter who has been so abusive to you and still is. If she does stay with you, baby or not baby, you are allowed to set strict rules in your own home and one rule can be, "If you talk abusively to me, you will have to leave." You deserve respect for helping her. Heck, you are her mother and a human being who loves her. If she can't respect you, I would not blame you for making her leave. Never let this boyfriend live with you again. I don't feel, in my opinion, that it's ever a good idea to let a boyfriend live with us, the parents, in our home. They aren't family and this is OUR home, our sanctuary, our rules, our safe place. Even if daughter begs and pleads, I would not allow it, if it were my daughter. It's too bad they had a baby considering they can't seem to support themselves, but it's done. Now in my opinion the baby is the important one. You are limited in what you can do, but you can always try. Isf you feel the baby is unsafe, act on it. If YOU want custody, get a lawyer and try. Grandparents are at a disadvantage until the adult kids are clearly unfit per a judge. But some people here DID get custody of grandchildren. There is also foster care, if you feel unable to take care of a baby. Both your daughter and her boyfriend don't seem ready to parent and I'm guessing the boyfriend may be a domestic abuser or a potential one. Scary. That type of control freaking is a big red flag for abuse. Daughter needs to stand up for herself. If she is afraid of him there are domestic abuse shelters where she AND her baby can live while they get help from the services offered. She is a mother now. Hopefully she will step up. Hugs for your hurting heart. I am very sorry this is going on and am puzzled at your daughter's behavior AND her boyfriend's. Does he have another girlfriend he doesn't want her to see? It smells fishy to me and I think s he should probably take the baby and find a place to live (probably be best if not with you). Does she work? Did she graduate from high school? Are drugs in the picture? [/QUOTE]
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20 year old daughter and newborn baby kicked out
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